iBlush

Nutella

2012-02-02T22:28:00.000-08:00

these pictures are self-explanatory :p

nutelleria currently only available in europe :'(

omnomnomnommmm :'p~

this is LOVE

Nutella hot chocolate recipe: *srrlppsss*

Ingredients:(1 serving)
3 tbsps nutella
1 1/3 cups milk

Directions:
1 Put Nutella and 1/3 cup milk in small saucepan over medium heat.
2 Whisk until blended.
3 Add remaining milk, increase heat to medium-high, and whisk until hot and frothy.

on my Bucket List

2012-01-26T18:51:00.000-08:00

See how pretty?
The solar storm earlier this week has caused to more visible view of aurora borealis :')
i sure hope i get to see this one day with my own eyes ... <3
Click on the picture to get the full-effect ;)

How great is our God :')

Info:
I like to edit most of my pictures on picnik, sadly they're closing on April 19 :( but the new picasa have new editing options, hopefully is as fun and as easy as picnik. Because picnik is closing, now all premium access is open for free until april 19, 2012 :) Happy editing!!! :)

oh and this is my 100th posttt :D
*fireworkssssss* hahahahahha
cheers to 100 experiences with God and for the more to come :')
*blushed* and will continue to blush :')

when life gives you lemons,

2012-01-24T20:37:00.001-08:00

you make lemonade :p

After hearing some testimonies from a few people i know and researching on the internet i've been trying-out morning lime for about 3 months now. It's hard to find a good & cheap lemons here, so limes are a good alternative.

Onto the benefits:
- Vitamin C powerhouse! Vitamin C is extremely essential for a strong immune system. Both lemon and lime are a moderately good source of vitamin C, with lemons containing about one-third more vitamin C than limes. A glass of warm water with lime/lemon juice and a teaspoonful of honey is an ideal remedy to keep yourself cold and cough free.
- Good for your stomach. Lemon/lime juice aids the digestion process. The acids in lemons/limes are also good for flushing out the toxins from the bowel tracts that keeps constipation.
- Helps maintain normal blood pressure: Lime juice is a good source of potassium which is important for regulating the heart rhythm and keeping the blood vessels relaxed thus reducing the risk of hypertension.
- Weight loss: Yes! lemon water first thing in the morning. It is an excellent fat burner as well as a brilliant refresher and antioxidant drink.
- Beneficial for hair: Lemon juice if applied on the scalp can treat problems like dandruff, hair fall and oily hair.
- Beneficial for the skin: Lime juice has been used as a bleaching agent for centuries. The antioxidant, antibiotic and disinfectant properties of lime helps rejuvenate the skin and protect it from infections.
- Gum problems: A deficiency of Vitamin C causes a lot of gum diseases (like scurvy which is characterized by swollen and bleeding gums). Regular consumption of lemons and limes, in some form or another, is a brilliant way to keep gum diseases away.

there are many more benefits, but i feel like those represents my experience :) i go to the bathroom more regularly now, although i don't loose any weight but it seems that i don't gain either now that i eat like crazy and don't exercise T.T (pants still fit! :p) i don't weigh myself because the truth hurts :p

how do i prepare this:
every morning, lime water is the 1st thing i drink/eat before anything else. I know-I know some people concern about heartburn(which i do have too) but interesting fact: Lime and lemon taste acidic and sourish but when consumed, they are really alkaline-forming in the stomach. So it's not gonna cause you heartburn! :)
1 lime mix with water and then *gulp gulp gulp* you might not be comfortable with the sour-ness when trying for the 1st time, but the benefit keeps me motivated! :D and after, i have my breakfast as usual.

If you're interested to try this, let me know how it turns out!
more benefits and how to prepare:
lifemojo
juicingforhealth
whfoods

If you're lazy...

2012-01-23T21:14:00.001-08:00

if you're lazy to go to school...
or if you're lazy to go to work...

when you're scared/worry for exams
or when you're scared/worry for your job/work or even your boss

remember them...
they struggle each day to go to school and not knowing if they can make it to the other side and go back each day after school not knowing they can make it to home, and even so, they did it anyway...

Love-shape

2012-01-18T20:44:00.000-08:00

like a cross :')
*blushed*

Jakarta eats: Bobabits

2012-01-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

My other crave is for Boba T.T
the one that i used to drink at least once a week T.T

So last week my BFF told me about this boba place called: Bobabits and so we went there on a friday night. This cute-little-place was packed, in fact they were out of boba when we ordered. But then they quickly got 'em in stock again so we get the chance to change our order back with the big pearls.

I don't know if they're in a hurry to make the boba but it didn't taste as good as i expect it would be, because my friend said it was better before when she tried it the first time... oh well, i guess i need to go there again :D

I ordered milk tea with pudding and my friend ordered taro milk tea with boba and passion fruit tea with aloe, i got to try all, the taste wasn't too sweet so i think that's why a lot of people like it, but i like my sweet desserts :p so it's not the perfect boba yet for me :) but the tea-flavor definitely better than quickly's.

Besides that we also order some snacks: the popcorn chicken and the sweet potato fries, the chicken was just ok, i didn't really enjoy the fries though. I terribly miss verde's chickennn, fried tofu T.T and drinksss and fantasia, ten ren and tea era, all taste much much better than bobabits in my opinion

I totally forgot how much the boba cost, but if i'm not wrong maybe about Rp. 18,000 or so, oh well! i guess i really have to comeback :D The place is fairly new from what i heard, so i hope they would improve :')

Bobabits by Auntie Betsie
Ruko Crown Golf B2
Pantai Indah Kapuk
North Jakarta
Phone:(021) 91260337

Jakarta eats: Han Gang

2012-01-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

I was craving Korean sooo much i could die :p
So after 6 months, FINALLY...

Although it only made me miss US so much T.T
i guess my search for a good korean-restaurant has just begin!

Unfortunately i didn't bring my camera that night so all the pictures courtesy Han-gang

You can choose for them to cook the meat for you(to avoid the stinky-ness of a bbq) or cook it yourself, of course my BFF would cook it herself :p yea but the waiter actually ended up helping us with the cooking but eventually asked to leave because we feel the weirdness of having this 4th person in our table and conversation :D

So coming up are our orders:

It come with side dishes as usual(although not as abundant as in the US) and the "grill-thing" is really hottt, like in-your-face HOT because they have this suction-thing to suck the smoke and the smell but it also sucking the air - -" but good thing the meat-cooking process is quite fast :') The meat comes with lettuce wraps, garlic and cut-jalapeno, and some with mushroom and onions.

This is beef-tongue (useolgui)

This is some marinated beef (jumulleok)

the japchae was over-cooked so the texture was really soft, but the taste was ok

the dolsot bibimbab was flavorful although i couldn't find any beef on mine, we divided by 3 so meaning that the beef must be only a tiny portion

Besides that we also ordered tteokbokki(korean rice-cake/fish-cake hot and spicy dish) which i think this dish is a failure :( and soondobu (Korean sof-tofu soup) that taste a lil' weird and one more meat which i forgot the name. Keep in mind that there's only 3 of us girls and we ordered 7 dishes in total :D we're most satisfied with the meat and disappointed with the rest of the dish.

The total bill comes up to a whopping Rp. 740,000 but good thing with BNI we can get 50% off *phew*

Will i come back?
Maybe for the meat, for the other dishes i was hoping that it just my un-lucky day
and as for the location we went to hang gang at emporium pluit, and it's not so comfortable because from where we sat we got glared quite often by cars-light that passed by

Han Gang
Emporium Pluit Mall, G Fl
Jl. Pluit Selatan Raya Bl S 6
West Jakarta
Phone:(021) 29071925
Price ranges from Rp. 50,000-200,000

Renewed like eagles

2012-01-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

So have you ever wonder why?
Renewed like eagles?
Why eagles?

I recently went to a family gathering just 2 days before new year and heard this short sermon taken from Psalm and in the verse there this ever-so familiar "renewed like the eagle's" phrase

So if you don't already know: Eagle goes through a molting process
according to dictionary molting is (of a bird or animal) to lose feathers, skin or hair as a natural process at a particular time of year so that new feathers, skin or hair can grow

This is a time of renewal and restoration for the eagle. At least once in their lifetime an eagle must go through the molting stage. The reason they must do this is because their feathers become dull and they lose their ability to take the eagle high in the sky. His beak also becomes dull and not capable of hunting food. His talons have lost their strength and power. Therefore what they must do is to come to ground level and many of them never survive this molting process. They humble themselves and lie on the ground and pull out all of those bad feathers. They actually scrape their beak on a rock or something like that until it comes off and a new one starts growing. They also do the same thing with their talons. They take their beaks and actually pull their old talons off. And then new talons also start growing. By the time spring comes around they have renewed their feathers, their beaks, their talons and their strength. They are ready then to do what an eagle is born to do. And that is to fly and be a fierce fighter. They are ready to protect their young and to live high in the sky on the tops of the mountains.

This approximately 10+ weeks process will give the eagle another 10+ years of life
Isn't that amazing?
As i research about this, i found useful and encouraging articles if you have time to dig and read :) it helps to understand the bible better :')

Soaring like eagles
Eagle's renewal
The molting process

I hope in this new year we can get renewed
and still be faithful until we're restored

:')

2012

2012-01-05T19:06:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!!!
I spent my new year's eve at home after church watching fireworks from tv and my balcony! while having sate-lontong for dinner :D

It's aamaaziingg fireworks all over the world, and super-loud and noisy fireworks all over my complex, like literally until 2am or more - -" i was watching tv and i barely hear the tv because the fireworks surrounding my house was that loud, and it's a fancy big fireworks too it's not just simply petasan. At times like this i miss US for valuing the rules on residential areas. And this is come from me -> the girl who ADORES fireworks hahahahah, i always wish that disney's 20 min fireworks was longerrr but after that night of 4-5 hours fireworks i beg it to stop d(-_-)b

We have church the next morning and everyone was complaining the same thing, they said that it feels like in the middle of world-war :D and just chatted with a friend of mine on the other side of Jakarta, she was experiencing the same thing too. So new years eve, Jakarta sky was FULL; literally by fireworks! and the morning after was also FULL; with trash :( so saaddd

Despite the noisy-ness, i thank God that i could spent it with my parents having our ritual prayers of thanksgiving and hopes together, surrounded by good food and the warmth of families. My dad is funny, he mistakenly said: happy birthday instead of happy new year :D

i was going to look for fireworks picture but then i stumble upon this picture:

I wish i could see more of the signs they carried.
That's kinda cool to be angry FREE in 2012 :)

I always feel bummed out by new year because i always feel i'm behind i haven't accomplish anything :( and i don't dare to do things as well and that's probably why i haven't accomplish anything - -"

But i stumble upon my friend's status on facebook that said: new year, if you're still around means another chance :)

Cheers for 2nd chances :')
*blushed*

Happy birthday to me :')

2011-12-19T17:59:00.000-08:00

It's my first birthday in indo after being away for 10 years, YAY!!!
I got to spent it in Bali <3
and i think it's been 10 years ++ since last time i went to bali, so i am excited!

It's been raining in bali so i wish for a sunny day <3 and God gave me a sunny day, it's actually the only non-raining day out of the 3 days i'm there. Call it coincidence but i believe God listens to my prayer :')

We got to watch the sunset too, which on my wish list as well

Ended it with dinner: a seafood-yummy-feast! at the same restaurant, there's this group of musician who's walking around singing, of course we didn't ask them to sing for us - -" because we're cheapo hahaha but we got to hear some songs they sang including somewhere over the rainbow and happy b'day to you <3 and also FREE fireworks from nextdoor :p what a night! and it didn't rain until we finish our dinner :D what a timing!

to top it off: my devotion on dec 16, 2011

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations"

God knew you, as he knew Jeremiah, long before you were born or even conceived.
He thought about you and planned for you.
When you feel discouraged or inadequate, remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.

WOW, i am in tears :'(
at the end of the day nothing move me like You did God :')
thank you for all You've done and what you're going to do
with my life, in my life, through my life
all for You and You alone <3

<3 I hope this love letter from God encourages you too on the day of your birthday and all the days of your life <3

Divine Gifts

2011-12-09T01:10:00.000-08:00

Oh, the things we do to give gifts to those we love.

But we don’t mind, do we? We would do it all again. Fact is, we do it all again. Every Christmas, every birthday, every so often we find ourselves in foreign territory. Grownups are in toy stores. Dads are in teen stores. Wives are in the hunting department, and husbands are in the purse department.

And we’d do it all again. Having pressed the grapes of service, we drink life’s sweetest wine—the wine of giving. We are at our best when we are giving. In fact, we are most like God when we are giving.

Have you ever wondered why God gives so much? We could exist on far less. He could have left the world flat and gray; we wouldn’t have known the difference. But he didn’t.

He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue.
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you’ll see that too.

Did he have to make the squirrel’s tail furry?
Was he obliged to make the birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?

Why give a flower fragrance? Why give food its taste?
Could it be he loves to see that look upon your face?

If we give gifts to show our love, how much more would he? If we—speckled with foibles and greed—love to give gifts, how much more does God, pure and perfect God, enjoy giving gifts to us? Jesus asked, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matt. 7:11 NIV).

God’s gifts shed light on God’s heart, God’s good and generous heart. Jesus’ brother James tells us: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17 NIV). Every gift reveals God’s love … but no gift reveals his love more than the gifts of the cross. They came, not wrapped in paper, but in passion. Not placed around a tree, but a cross. And not covered with ribbons, but sprinkled with blood.

From One Incredible Savior
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011) Max Lucado

Thank you God for the gift of LOVE
i am forever grateful

Secret Santa

2011-12-01T21:34:00.000-08:00

I've been on and on and on, on how i miss thanksgiving and operation christmas child and i love how God comfort me and rebuke me at the same time :)

Thanksgiving day fall on Nov 24th this year, and in Indo, the thursday is just like any other thursday, no holiday, no celebration, no greetings, nothing.
And i do feel a little down after seeing retreat pictures on facebook and how awesome i heard it was :D and how my friend gather for dinner together :(
But, God reminds me that it just like any other day here, because everyday is a thanksgiving day, and that everyday deserve a thanksgiving. I should make it special because: (Psalm 118:24)
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Operation Christmas Child collection week is on November too :( and i put the status on my fb -> I miss operation christmas child :( and a friend actually commented and said i should do one in indo.
So i thought instead of feeling pathetic maybe i really should :p
I contacted Samaritan's Purse and ask if there's possible way i can do it from indo and if it possible directed towards kids in indonesia, because i know indo is on the list of the countries that get the shoeboxes.
After 2 weeks they replied and unfortunately i still have to send the gifts to US HQ or Australia(nearer) but it doesn't make sense to do that, i will waste a lot on shipping. I do understand the concern though, they probably wanna make sure if the gifts are up to certain qualifications because if not then the organization might get in trouble.

Yossi was also on board with this program, and she really pushes me, i probably won't do it if it's only me. we finally opt out to local organization, this is not an easy process as well because i really wanna do it for an organization that really needs it! and i don't know which one and i don't have the connection and finally got a yes from an organization. We worked with Sahabat Anak that helps street-kids to study. On the particular location that we worked with, they literally meet under the bridge of a highway between a mall and university. They don't have a room to study. I wonder how, with the hectic and the traffic of Jakarta. They are actually christian based and most of the teacher are christians too, but the kids they teach are obviously not.

I did ask them if it's ok to put traktat or christmas card with the message of Jesus, but we didn't get a yes on this one. :( although i know that what matter most is the message of Jesus and not the material gifts that we give, i have to follow the rule, because i can't let them get in trouble because of us and this program we're doing. But i know God miraculous ways of maybe speaking to the kids through material stuff, something amazing that i can't even think of can come out of this. Amen! (just like our offering, God can use the money we give for His greatness)

When asked to come up with a name for the program i came up with Act On Love (AOL) and Gift of Giving (GOG) and yossi wasn't sure on both, so finally Secret Santa, a game of giving christmas gifts, that usually done in a group, voluntary and anonymous.

We're introducing the program today
yossi doing the emotional stuff, on why we're doing this
and i'm doing the technical stuff on how-tos that way i won't cry in front of people i don't know :D

honestly we didn't get a great/good response from people, even from people i expect they would be
but i pray for God to work, touch each and every heart according to each and every need. Because this is all for Him. The response that we expect is only from God, that is our focus, our very reason for doing this, our energy for us to be able to do this today. Not the crowd nor the preparation that make us secure, but You and You alone.

I totally aware that our idea is not original, but please know that our intention is genuine T.T
I pray that people would understand the cause and that they will give not because they know us or not because we invited them but they'll give for the cause. a good cause. sincerely.

Just maybe one day, just like operation christmas child, we can also provide the need of more kids, more than 120 kids that we're giving now. and one day the door might just be open that we can give more than the material gifts. Or maybe even one day operation christmas child can have a base in indonesia.

Right now, i just have to be faithful in this little things given :)
Thank you God <3 for letting me be a part of your love-plan <3

A leap of faith

2011-12-01T20:01:00.000-08:00

This will be a long post and maybe a little confusing of ramblings and the thoughts of my head and heart :D

Finally taking a step to go back to Indonesia.
I can't believe it's been almost 6 months i'm stepping my foot at this place i now call home.
It's might not be the best decision but i do think it's the right thing to do.
I hope in time my parents will agree :) i think now there's on 70-30 not yet 100%

on my decision:
I didn't choose to stay because it seemed like is the easy way out; the easiest escape from my life and what i should do. I've lived a comfortable-secure-routine life in the US. I figured that going back home would make me stronger. That I would learn more there, and in the midst of life's little tragedies I would somehow grow.
aaaannd the re-sounding message from Brenda Salter McNeil (Urbana06) that said "Don't settle"

Although i can't deny that i terribly miss what i left behind :(
In Indo:
-I cherish my family time; time of praying together, breakfast, dinner, watching tv, to serve my parents in cooking and cleaning when our maid went home on Lebaran. To be here on my dad's and mom's birthday, that i have been missing for the past 10 years.
-I love being able to see my best friends again! to chat, share, shop, eat together, take pictures, being able to be here on their birthdays!!! and hopefully to all the coming-soon special occasions :D
-I did my mission trip! blessed and humbled <3 and blessed <3 again <3

Struggles:
- ministry, a whole lot different(the people, the rules, the program) and i really hate how some rules are not biblical yet need to be followed. I'm still finding my passion in this area, and my own personal reason with God on why i wanna do it
- job, although i'm extremely grateful for a God-loving boss, i wonder if i'm a good fit for this company, because clearly now i'm not doing accounting, different from what i expect it would be, different from things that i know-how-to and it doesn't necessarily bad. It's just a whole learning process, and i really wanna be effective and beneficial for the company
- family expectation (in career, life, love). i think this is self-explanatory
- to not loose sight from God; my purpose, my goal, my reason, my all

I might never know what the best decision is or the outcome if i didn't leave (will just might be better than my unstable condition now) but (convincing myself; i hate the fact that i need to convince myself; I'm sorry God that i am a woman of little faith):
I know i am responsible to trust in God, who knows the desires of my heart
In all uncertainties of life, God is the most certain! to whom i can hold on to and rely on, and no expectation of God will be too high, because He exceeds things and mind and condition and situation in all explanation possible.
and I should've known better because He's been good and forever will be.
Amen!

As i'm convinced and/or continue learning to be, i hope you are too, in whatever uncertainties you faced now, we're in it together and thank God for a God who never cease to convince us :)

I miss you all and you know who you are.
Always be in my prayer :)

You can stay under my umbrella, ela ela e e...

2011-06-02T21:25:00.001-07:00

Image Courtesy lisagraff.com
Umbrella Bookmark

I made this for ci kiki's babyshower favors
Why umbrella -> because it's a shower, get it :p
and why bookmark - because she likes to read

Instructions and template taken from:
http://www.lisagraff.com/abouttemplate2.html

the process

'voila!

Happy trying :)
I hope it will help for your next DIY events

Note to self

2011-04-12T10:54:00.001-07:00

May the words of my mouth...

2011-03-21T11:32:00.000-07:00

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

***Sing a long***

Verse 1:
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

Chorus:
For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Verse 2:
Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

Celebration of love

2011-03-15T09:00:00.000-07:00

March 14 is my parents wedding anniversary
Even though i'm not really good with expressing my gratitude, i do appreciate it a lot and thankful each day for them. For staying together as a family, so i can have a good home and experience.

When I was at WCC, there's a lot of prayer and conviction regarding parents and child relationship, a lot of people having difficulty portraying God the father relationship because of their past relationship with their family. there's hurt and bondage that stays with them and affecting a lot of areas in there life now, even as grownups.

And i just thankful to God that i don't have that painful past, and that both my parents are affectionate and patient with me. through God and through them i was able to learn about love. It's not because of, it is inspite of and despite of... because we are all not perfect yet still loved.

*truly, deeply thankful*
praying so their love can continue to grow for each other in God and through that other people can experience love and God as well.

Decision

2011-03-10T11:58:00.000-08:00

I was reading collin's park blog on the topic "Envy" (what he shared on last week pemuda session) and then i stumble upon this post/quote:

From Merton's Witness to Freedom:

[T]here is one basic idea that should be kept in mind in all the changes we make in life, whether of career or anything else. We should decide not in view of better pay, higher rank, "getting ahead," but in view of becoming more real, entering more authentically into direct contact with life, living more as a free and mature human person, able to give myself more to others, able to understand myself and the world better.
pp. 254-255, quoted in
Echoing Silence, Thomas Merton on the Vocation of Writing
edited by Robert Inchausti

I'm scared of changes that i know will be coming very very soon :(
i'm going back indo this time no more delaying, escaping nor denying
the harder road it is :'(
no financial stability
no definite future, except for heaven of course :'}
and tons and tons of hardships and struggles coming ahead
and questions like:
can i be a blessing there?
can i continue growing there?
can i finish strong?

on the other note, all these uncertainties teach me:
to be more dependent on Him as my provider and comfort, as my friend and God.

"I can't do this alone,
God I need you to hold on to me"
-Josh Wilson (Savior)

Beloved and Blessed

2011-03-09T15:37:00.000-08:00

Updates updates :)
What is up in February:

1. WCC
Always enriched and encouraged after each WCC.
The theme this year was beloved; an awesome revelation and truth that we are so loved by God. a lot of time i "forgot" that i am His beloved. It's a really good reminder and be able to hear testimonies from people about their journey with God make me wanna have one as well! maybe one day i can be the one giving testimony hehehehe... or praying. There was this girl who introduces/prays before session/testimony and i was just so blessed by her prayer. And this time... i was quite sober hehehe i didn't cry... as much! :p

2. CANADA
Wohooooo!!! i didn't think i was going to have time for this trip. Last year a few people i know went there and i wasn't able to join them... i thought i will have to skip Canada before indo :( because i don't know when/ if my parents can come to pick me up before indo... but Thank God truly deeply for such an opportunity and a blessed trip that i was able to go :) God was gracious that He gave us an added bonus by giving us an excellent weather. You see, before we went, we kept on checking the weather and it was a wet days... we only get 1 sunny day. But, in reality we got nice weather for all days and 1 wet day. :))) and my highlight is the snow. All my life i didn't know that snow has shapes... they're gorgeous! snowflakes... our God is quite an artist i must say, they're(the snowflakes) shaped so beautifully <3 i'm in LOVE! and in awe <3

*blushed*

Answered prayer :'}

2011-01-13T13:14:00.000-08:00

so, we had our bible study session on tuesday (01/11/2011) -> awesome date huh?! ;) anyhow at the end of our session during prayer request, one of my friend requested a warmer weather because she hasn't been feeling very well lately + busy at work and the cold-weather isn't helping, and especially it was raining that night!

so... we prayed... :)
and God answered the next day!!! <3
the temperature went up by 9 degrees and compared to tuesday, wednesday was basking with sunshine ~@~

No prayer request is too small/too big for Him, whatever it is just turn to God!
*blushed*

Return on Investment :p

2011-01-05T09:51:00.000-08:00

back at work on monday after the longweekend it's just such a hard thing to do :( and plus the chef is sick so there's no food at work to keep me going :'( *double sad* so on lunch i went to this nearby taco place. i would normally get this mexican drink (horchata) to go with it, i was contemplating the $3 that i have in my wallet and then i decided i'm just gonna get the free soda at work :p

after work, i was filling up gas at this place nearby my work. and as i was about half way to fill up my gas, this homeless guy approached me saying, "i mean no harm, but will you let me clean your window?"

i was thinking in my head and i said no, thank you (because i don't know how long it's going to take him to clean up my car window and i was already half way full). but then when he about to walk away, i start to feel bad... so i checked my wallet and finally asked him how much does he charge. and he said, "well is up to your heart willing to give, i'll take $1, $2 or $5" and i checked my wallet again then i said to him, "you don't have to clean my window, but i have this $3, please put it for a good use ok?! buy food and don't drink! and then he said "yes mam." and i said "God bless you" and he said "God bless you too" then he approached other cars.

and just when i finished filling up gas, the worker at the gas station start changing the price. inside my head i was thinking... nooooo!!! just when i finished, the price is going down????? T.T but it's actually the opposite... the price went up by 6 cents XD i know i know... 6 cents is nothing... but still it makes me happy :'}

and God just put this great comfort in my heart not to be afraid to give <3 which is priceless <3

*blushed*

Note to self

2011-01-05T09:43:00.000-08:00

as much as i hate troubles... -_-"
"great triumphs are born out of great troubles"

Happy :'}

2011-01-04T15:15:00.001-08:00

another long overdue post T.T
i was planning to post this one exactly on my b'day like i did last year, but i failed to do so since i was so so busy with celebrations :p and practices and work - -"

Before i wrote this post i just peek at my post last year, if you would re-read: "grateful"

This year, God's teaching me a lot about being content and by His grace i would say this year i'm happy :'} Looking back, i know that sometimes God's command seems hard/impossible to do (like forgiveness or being content, etc) but it is really for our own good because the peace that comes after is just so rewarding.

On friday a week before my b'day, ci santi's friend: Pira was speaking about this topic and he used Phil 4. I grew up with the verse : 13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." i was a very pessimistic and all-time-worrier kid, i remember my mom would just repeat that verse over and over at the table during breakfast and dinner, before every exam, test, check-up or any major event that freak me out. Yup, in english! So even though i don't purposely plan to memorize it, it gets to me.

So Pira broke down the verse, it's NOT about I CAN, or DO ALL THINGS but it is about THROUGH CHRIST! and it is about the importance of knowing/understand the prior verses, which i never pay attention to - -"

"11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the SECRET of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Now when Paul wrote the book of Philippians, he was in prison T.T and yet he showed such great faith! what is his SECRET? the secret is on verse 13 which it THROUGH CHRIST <3

A lot of admirable people i know would start a line by saying: "by God's grace, I..." and now i think i know what that means :) and everyone can say it too and start living it if you know the secret :)

i'm still learning too, and i will probably fall again and again, but i'll try to embrace the secret and knowing that i can do all thing THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me.

i thank God for such a HAPPY b'day this year :'} along with all the added bonus (loving friends and family <3 <3 <3) + 3 cakes!!!

Note to self:
and the end of the chapter, Paul wrote:
"20 To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Above all else, when everything is said and done, the ultimate goal, the reason, the purpose, what it is all about... is God! always have, always will...

disclaimer: the "secret" can be applied in any situation you're in :'}

the Reason

2010-12-08T15:07:00.000-08:00

everything happens for a reason and the reason is to glorify God!

when you are in a bad situation, you might not understand this and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel because it's blocked by your heartache. But when you are at the end of the tunnel you'll look back and find yourself praising God! for the things that happened.

note to self:
you can choose to curse or to praise, and see how that make a different! not only for yourself but for those around you.

to God be all glory <3

miracle

2010-12-08T14:26:00.000-08:00

another long overdue post :p
november had gone by so fast - -" it was a busy2 month for me, with 1st time in charge on my friend's wedding decoration and then retreat and of course the ongoing ES drama practices.

and whuuzzzz: we're on DECEMBER now!
so, what happen in december?
last weekend, my cousin's grandpa(i call him kung2) got admitted to the hospital for having a mild stroke! it's such a heartbreaking news, he was known as a healthy person! and over the past 80 years of his life this is the 1st time he got admitted to the hospital. It was a tough weekend for the family, but praise God, they got him in there on time and there's no permanent damage. When i visited him, he looks normal and alert :D And according to the doctor he has no blockage yet however there's a narrowing artery that might cause the blockage in the future. So currently they giving him medication to thin his blood, no operation needed at this point. phew! Praise God!

So as i was waiting in the hospital, there's this uncle(my uncle's friend, his name is uncle henry) who also visited kung2. He had hit by stroke too before. and you can see that it had hit him pretty bad, he's limping. it was too late when he got in to the hospital before that the doctor couldn't just give him a thinning-blood medicine.

Anyhow, all these happens it got me thinking what had happened to my dad before. He was hit by stroke too before. and he was a lot worse than kung2. he had to stayed at ICU, he had trouble speaking, walking, moving parts of his body that he has to go through therapy. That time i would think he would ended up like uncle henry. I remember crying and praying, and praying and crying... among all the possible permanent damages i can handle the physical but please let my dad remembers me still. Because that how bad he was, and nerve damage could impact brain(memories, intelligence, etc) and physical abilities.

But by God's grace, my dad recover looking normal as ever! Praise God! not only the brain but also physically. At the time i was ready to cope with whatever situation that might happen, the worst. People say that me and my mom have to be extra patient with my dad because he might get angry at the situation, therefore more emotional, etc etc. But again by God's grace my dad is more patient after all these things happened. And that time my aunty keep telling to uncle henry about my dad's case and how it such a miracle! that if you see him today, you wouldn't have guess that he had stroke before.

All i can say now is WOW! God had made me speechless. I was in my devotion last week and it was about Moses, when God had called him to go to bring Israel out of Egypt and there he goes with all excuses he can think off, and then God perform miracle for him(the stick turned into snake) and i was thinking on my head: "God, ok if you do that for me right in this century it would be easy for me to go or to say yes! to whatever you want me to do (like: spreading the gospel)" because you know, it would be easier for people to believe You. and then the incident happen in the weekend...

God: don't you say i didn't give you any miracle! :D
me: *speechless* in awe...

so, what i am trying to say is: He does still give you miracles. might be not in the form that you wanted and you might not understand it when it happened. And that sometimes what blocking us from miracles is our unbelief.

i hope you are all blessed by this testimony and in the end you can say: yes, God's great!

*blushed*

iAmLoved.

2010-12-08T14:23:00.000-08:00

God's directions and corrections are only for your protection!

a woman's heart

2010-12-01T11:35:00.000-08:00

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her."

Smile, Jesus loves you!

2010-11-13T00:47:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 17:22 (New International Version)
22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Sushi on the Run

2010-10-06T15:09:00.000-07:00

If you enjoy a good sashimi then this is the place for you
so fresh! and generous portion of sashimi piece :)
this place use real crabs! not imitation one :)
Things you need to know:
the place is really small, so really not recommended for big groups and if you have baby this probably not the most family friendly restaurant :) there's no place for stroller. Yup! it is that small - -"
there's no bento, but don't worry i think you'll be full with the assorted nigiri :)

Onto the food: it's really awesome, besides chirashi dinner at tomi sushi, this place i think have the best sashimi :) don't look at the presentation because it ain't gonna be pretty looking (esp. for the rolls) but the taste is yummy :)

here're some recommended dishes:

seafood salad

assorted nigiri

pat's home run: unagi with avocado, macadamia nut and special sauce

and if you can't eat raw, i think the unagi temaki and salmon skin temaki will keep your stomach happy!

happy eating! XD

Cafe Jacqueline

2010-10-06T14:53:00.000-07:00

this place is voted as #2 most romantic restaurant in SF
the restaurant is so quiet, dark lighting, candles at each table, mostly couples
there were six of us that night, after we came it's not so quiet anymore :p we were joking around saying that if there's someone who's planning on proposing it might not work because we had ruin the mood :p
tips:
- if you come here hungry and expect to be served fast then this is not the place for you. they serve all souffles dishes, appetizer through dessert in souffle form so if you know souffle it will take a good 30 minutes after you order before you can enjoy the food :) for couples: it's a good quality time right there! :)
- the souffle-size is massive! so sharing is highly recommended, we had 2 souffles for 6 people.

things that we order: are the grand marnier > the strawberry
because we got to eat right out of the oven, it's just so preciously yummy! :) it worth the wait :'p~

the grand marnier souffle

the strawberry souffle

enjoy!

Food Review - theHouse

2010-10-06T14:20:00.001-07:00

- 1st thing you need to know: the parking is kinda hard - -"
- the restaurant is pretty small, so it's always good to have a reservation if you're eating in a big group
recommendation/must have(s):
- Porkchop with pomegranate sauce, interesting combination :)
- The black cod, melt in your mouth!
i can't stop spazzing over these two dishes, it's savory+tender+juicy :'p~

asides from these two dishes we also ordered: the crabcakes, sofshell crabs, tuna tar2, seabass and risotto. I personally think the cod was better than the bass :) and as for the appetizer other than its cute presentation i didn't find the dishes impress me :) taste-wise
Presentation of the food was really cute and creative, my black cod comes with the bunny ears :)

"the house" placemat

soft-shell crab

crabcake

tuna tar2

seafood risotto

seabass

black cod

porkchop

enjoy!

More love!

2010-09-13T10:37:00.000-07:00

So on the past weeks, life has been playing on my emotion. But God is good in reminding me and protecting me :)
I used to feel sad and angry when i got scolded by my dad when i was little :( but he said to me: "Justru karena nana anak papa jadi papa bilangin." <3

My devotion:
Romans 12:14-21
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[c] Do not be conceited.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay,"[d]says the Lord. 20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."[e] 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

It's so hard God - -"
but despite all the emotional week, God showers me with more love as well... it's so overwhelming that when i read the passage i can't help reflecting back on Jesus's sacrifice on the cross... - -" it's millions times harder than what i have to do. I remember before in children's choir with ci kiki and the kids... we memorize verse 19-21 with action! hehehehe :D I have to start remembering that! it's such a blessing <3

Note to self:
nana, take comfort in trusting that God knows! <3

Planning

2010-09-13T10:01:00.000-07:00

So last friday, I was mc-ing for pemuda... and it was the fewesttt 11 people that i've ever experienced! it felt like persekutuan doa buttt It was good :D even though we only have cecyl on the piano and joko on the guitar the worship felt very encouraging. I'm missing one of my moral support this friday hahaha (fonda) but God is so good providing me with encouraging people :D on the fellowship. I'm so happy that jen and jon were there again! and Jon said he's going to share next week... hopefully... praying for him hehehe i know that people are going to be blesseddd by his sharing :D

Onto the sermon by ci Santi <3
I feel like i have to blog this as a reminder for myself :D so later if i encounter failure in the future i don't act like unbeliever :p (like how i usually always does - -")
There's 3 verses that she shared:
1. Proverbs 16:9 "The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps"
2. Proverbs 16:1 "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD."
3. Isaiah 55:9 "For as the heavens are higher than the earth,so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

So ci santi, continued by asking question what do you think is missing from those verses? don't you think those verses are contradicting each other? basically we can plan, but God decides. That's a little unfair God... don't you think?

Is planning a sin?
1. Yes if:
a.We don't include God on our planning (James 4)or because all success later we become boastful of ourselves.
b. If we don't fully trust God. There's something that we rely on, like example: money, etc. Jeremiah 29:11 has a condition that is on verse 12, "if you seek me with all of your heart" just like the condition of Israelites back then, they rely on idols instead of fully trusting God.
2. No if:
the opposite of those 2 condition above

God will intervene us when we're not on the right path...
and i thank God for that :D

Now onto God's answer/reminder for me is:
Is God unfair?
No, all intervention or failures that i have experienced in the past are all "God's protection" <3
Protection from sinning, protection from boasting, protection from a temporary happiness, protection from being a stumbling block, protection from what i think is good but i don't really know.

"i don't know about tomorrow, but i know who holds tomorrow"
:'}
*blushed*
I guess i gotta put away all my excuses of not to plan - -"

Magic Spell

2010-09-09T15:25:00.000-07:00

So, there are times when it's hard for me to pray or when i'm facing a difficult situation or a difficult people or having to do things i don't like but i kinda have to... I pray this prayer:

God, give me enough strength and power to ... (fill in the blank)
and give me enough love and grace to ... (fill in the blank)
in Jesus name, i pray, Amen.

That seems to work :'}

On my prayer list

2010-09-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

(c)nana.2010

Note to self:
in order to find a Godly man, you must first become a Godly woman :'}

HOME

2010-09-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

me: i wanna go home, bbuttt... where is home? :(
God: Home is where I am :)
me: o'_'o *kyaaa* **comforted** :')

If the weather behaves, Perseids to bathe Bay Area sky in meteors Thursday - San Jose Mercury News

2010-08-12T13:42:00.000-07:00

If the weather behaves, Perseids to bathe Bay Area sky in meteors Thursday - San Jose Mercury News

Cooking papa

2010-07-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

another food review :)
So on this past weekend... i went to watch DESPICABLE ME with vicky and ela :)
I <3 the movie it's funny and touching :)
I <3 cartoons
tips: i think it's worth to watch this movie in 3D. I watched Toy story 3 in 3D like the week before and there wasn't much of a 3D action... :(

After the movie we went to eat at cooking papa
their website: http://www.mycookingpapa.com/
I <3 the place... i think it's fairly new... and they have a CLEAN kitchen for a chinese restaurant :) like shiny clean so that's a plus!
The food that we order reminds me of a chinese-singapore kind of food...
price is good! and portion is generous! :) another plus
I think the food it's just good... it wasn't great or anything but it's worth a try especially if you're bored with your usual chinese restaurant :)

few things that we order:

Hongkong style milktea -> similar to teh tarik

honey bbq pork over rice

I forgot what this is called but it's portuguese baked style seafood, The sauce it's like curry sauce. so the yellow part it's not cheese! :)

this is cakwe wrapped in congfan, with peanut sauce on the side

and dessert: their signature cream puffs :)

4th of July weekend!

2010-07-12T14:43:00.001-07:00

Happy 4th! :)
I had full-of-awesomeness weekend!
It's just simply awesome because it's a long weekend! :)
We don't have much holiday in the state :( so long weekend is definitely special!

i did my laundry on friday because i know i'm gonna babysat maxie on the saturday hehehe so he can sleep on a clean bed-sheet :) i'm always happy whenever i got the chance to babysit maxie... he's such a happy baby... really made my day!

then had a bbq with my friends on sunday after church! it's truly a blessing to have talented friends around :D bertha's an awesome cook :D i can't stop eating! :D then we played taboo! i never played it before but it's a FUN game to play, unfortunately the guys won :( then for the finale we had a little fireworks :D

and monday just a day of rest... i thank God that during independence day i just got reminded about our freedom :) freedom from the bondage of sin! thank God for Jesus Christ!

Sharing pictures:

If Jesus has twitter

2010-06-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

Sharing this awesome note from my friend, i hope it'll be a blessing to you! :)

by Joy Holyzia

Today, like a lightning struck into a tree, a random thought suddenly struck my brain: If Jesus has twitter, what'd be His possible tweets/status updates? they're all fictional, yet biblical. The bible said, he was fully God, and he's also fully man...he definitely felt what we feel, and think what we think, though he's like definitely 10000000x more awesome than us :P

JC'da'Man Just got dipped into Jordan River today...brrrr that was COLD!! wish there's was a warm jacuzzi in the dessert. PS: that dude John was cool, and wonder if he got his fur jacket of Wal-mart, i'd like to get one! VINTAGE!! :D (Matthew 3:13)

JC'da'Man So the devil tried to lure me into turning stone to bread today....JUST because I'm starrrvvinggg. What do u think I am, a 5 year old?? (Matthew 4)

JC'da'Man Met Pete, Andrew, James, and John for the first time today. They were all hangin, fishin....then I came, and BOOM! Brotherly bond clicked right away!!BooYeah! (Matthew 4 – The calling of the first disciples)

JC'da'Man Preach to a good thousand today :) Food for thoughts of the day: If a lightbulb is hidden under a bowl, what good does it make? If a salt is no longer salty, why even bother using it? Throw it away!! Catchy, eh?? :) think about that! Nite y'all!!! (Matthew 5:13-16 – beatitudes preaching)

JC'da'Man A random shout out to everyone, I'm totally, crazily, ABSOLUTELY, amazingly, 100 percent, in love with u all...I'd DIE for you, man!! You all are in my heart! (together: Awwwwwwwwwww) (John 3:16)

JC'da'Man Singin' IN DA shower!! “People killin, people dyin, children hurtin, you hear them cryin...Can you practice what you PREACH?? Would you turn the other cheek?”Yoww people, where's the LOVE??! Go home and PLEASEEE for my Dad's sake, read Matthew 5:43-48!

JC'da'Man Healed a man with leprosy today! Wheww, that was a tricky one! (Matthew 8)

JC'da'Man Healed the servant of a Centurion (that'd be like a sherriff, or a BIG GUY in CIA, in your age) – Boy, this guy got FAITH!!!I like that!! I'm still amazed. u got faith? (Matthew 8:5-13)

JC'da'Man Got into the whole furious storm frenzy today while sailing with the dudes, they got all panicked and hysterical. I was like, “Hey man, Chill!!” I got this under my wing...next time relax will ya?? (Matthew 8:23)

JC'da'Man Got into a heated debate with the Pharisees today about Sabbath, what to do and what not... Honestly, they're like annoying little brats, feels like kicking them in the rear any days now. SIGH! Still gotta love'em..repeat to self: "forgive and forgett...forgive and forgetttt"... (Matthew 12)

JC'da'Man Wheww! Long day! Just talked to dad... withdrawing.. contemplating...praying... Man, I needed this! :) Now fully recharged and ready to go!! (Matt 12:15)

JC'da'Man Healed a blind man with sort of Playdoh... SCORE!! :D

JC'da'Man Saw the crowd today, my heart ache for them with compassion. They were like sheeps without sheperd! Sheeps like this got lost easily, distracted, and easily eaten by the WOLVES! So many harvestt...yet the workers are so few... :( Time to pray like never before, peeps!! (Matt 9:36)

JC'da'Man Why blend in if you can stand out?

JC'da'Man Fed about 5,000 hungry men with just 5 breads and 2 fishes...Believe me, the raw material was even fewer than Ivar's lunch special!! Magic?? Nah...the secret was prayer and thanksgiving, and miracles will take place! :) (Matthew 14:13)

JC'da'Man Hey, Chris Angel? I'm sorry to blow your cover, man, but your show when you walk on water? ehh, nice try...but let me show you the real deal, I just took a REAL walk on a REAL lake today! :D haha beat that! :P (Matthew 14:25 – Jesus walks on water)

Grace like rain

2010-06-09T10:20:00.000-07:00

Wow... i skipped a month - -"

I just get reminded about how blessed i am with God's amazing grace.
A Lot of time i've been taking things for granted.
Just because i didn't get the one thing i wanted, i forget about all the things He laid before my eyes, like driving safely to work or being healthy... and the fact that He loves me that He died on the cross for me :) <3

I'm embarrassed for even question His love for me...
Sometimes i wish i can be like a sunday school kids again who sings "Jesus Loves me, this i know, for the bible tells me so"

"When you see the painting on the sky, the snow falling or the sun setting at the open sea... Hear God saying: "You like it dear? I made that for you."

The Long-overdue!

2010-04-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

Haiiiiii... so I'm back in town maybe a month ago XD
I was super busy at work in the first couple of weeks XD Phewwww glad it's back to normal now :D
Got some catching up to do here :p I haven't been bloggin since the trip and i haven't read all blogs that i follow... thank God for friday and some time to read today. It is trully a blessing! for all of you who have share your life story with me, i learn a LOT from you <3

INDO:
Thank you so much for praying for me and with me :)
God's been good to me! I just thank you for each opportunity He's given me :)
- To spend time with my dearest parents
- To eat a LOT of good food (I gain 3kg! and i haven't been able to loose that - -")
- To witness my BFF wedding and God's goodness throughout the whole event
- To see my mbak :) <3 and got to say what i wanted to say (bonus from God: my mbak special sambel+ikan asin) My mom shared that just a couple months ago she was sick, and she called my mbak back in kampung to come to Jakarta but my mbak said she can't come. So when i called her i wasn't expecting much because i know she has to give up a lot to come, but she came! i was super happy! thank you God :D
- To have the opportunity to see my high school friend :) I was happy because she experience God in her life. This was another joyful miracle that God shared with me :) She is going to church now and she read purpose driven life! :D This is a big deal for me because 3-4 years ago when i met her, i thought it was impossible for her to be a believer but God once again prove me wrong. God's power! God's timing!
- The opportunity to be able to give/share what i've been blessed with. God has given me the joy of giving again, like when i got my first paycheck :D

I wasn't able to do volunteer at sekolah anak jalanan :( i was a little disappointed. But, next time! :D i'm happy to see there is a possible ministry for me if i decide to go back indo.

phew... i think that should summed up my indo-trip!
all glory to my awesome God! :)
*blushed*

YOU

2010-03-09T10:39:00.000-08:00

:) how can i not blushed :)

Overwhelmed

2010-03-08T11:35:00.000-08:00

I am such a people person. And lately God is teaching me that: you can't please everyone and that's okay. And also by being a people-person I'm actually being quite selfish. It's about me wanting to be likeable :(

I've been struggling to speak the truth in love and i think i still am. It's just so much easier to tell people what they wanted to hear rather than what they needed to hear. One of my bible study member had shared a story about her friend who always been put in the situation "to tell" And although the favor of the people, situation and the outcome was never on her side, she still doing it. She said that God had put her in that ministry: to tell :)

The favor of the people was not on her, but i know that God's favor was on her side. That is really an encouraging story for me :)

As we getting closer and closer to then end times, the bible says there will be people who hate us for telling the truth. So i guess i just have to get used to it :) it's okay to be a fool in the eyes of men rather than be a fool in the eyes of God. And being hated by men is nothing compare to being hated by God.

On saturday, i got a chance to do volunteer at Innvision; feeding homeless. It's been a while since last time i've been here. Before i went, during my devotion time i had asked God to give me a joyful heart instead of my worryful-heart so i can enjoy this ministry. This time we come not just to cook and serve but to do worship as well.

To tell the truth i was a bit skeptical at first, because i saw some people walk in with their headphones on. I was thinking in my heart what if they feel bothered? But i was encouraged to see my fellow team, they were singing joyfully :) And as we sing more and more, I can see how God works :) some people can relate to "amazing grace" and as i saw their teary eyes, i had felt my eyes become teary as well :) I was overwhelmed with Joy at the whole experience :)

When I was worry about how people would react, God had once again prove me wrong. Because the "truth" will bring great-joy to the people when done in love :) <3

*blushing with joy*
:) <3

On Fiyah! :)

2010-03-08T10:25:00.000-08:00

"Most of us are willing to go but prepared to stay but instead we have to be prepared to go and willing to stay."

I was so stunned by that sentence. That is absolutely right. I didn't realize i was saying Yes to God but i am actually always preparing myself to stay instead of go. Yup again, God knock me down on my knees regarding my obedience. I hope this sentence can be as rebuking to you as well :)

After WCC i was on "fire" again, i am so scared that the fire will get dim in time, so i start to make this commitment and goals of things that i wanna do for God. I was planning to go back to indo for my BFF's wedding :) i can't believe that she will be someone's wife :p :p :p hehehehehe... sooo on this trip back, i was looking for any possibility ministry. Chances are small because most mission trips are offered during summer. But there's some possibility that i can do some of these:

1. Meeting with someone from REP, they minister the business field. so basically they give out training and seminars for local businesses to do their business in God's way. They put me in contact with someone in indo. Most of their trips are short terms and this year they will be going to india. But indonesia is one of the country that they regularly visit as well.
2. working with anak2 jalanan by basically tutoring (read/write, math and art as well) i've contacted a few people but no-one has gotten back to me :( although this is the one that i want to do the most.
3. One of the counselors at WCC share a story of how in indo we have maids and there's this husband and wife that treated their maids differently after they were saved. Their maids saw the change and even them have secretly become a christian as well. When i heard this story i feel so embarrassed. I have been a christian all my life but i haven't been treating my maid nicely. Well mostly i treated them as maid :( So my longest maid (mbak Sina) have resigned i think about two years ago, and i was just thinking throughout that i owe her an apology for my behavior :( and so this time i'm home i really really wanted to meet her and use that opportunity to also show my gratitude towards her taking care of my parents. I don't know how and i don't know if it's possible since she is in kampung now :( but my parents have her phone number :)
4. and lastly to be able to minister to my family who's unbeliever. I have never thought i would care you know. Because i know they have their own beliefs and it's gonna be awkward considering some are a lot older than me. But God just put this on me lately. I have never even pray for them on these matter :(

So i've been praying for these opportunity. I have asked my bible study members to pray with me as well. For anyone who's reading this please pray for me and also keep me accountable! Ask me about it after my trip! Please pray:
1. I have a short 3 weeks vacation that mostly are filled with events already on the weekend ( my parents anniversary, me best friend's wedding, my aunt's birthday, etc) plus i also want to spend time for myself because it's my vacation you know :p so help me to be able to make an unselfish decision :) so i can really fulfill my commitment. or if somehow i can cramp my time to be able to do all :p
2. pray for me to have the right heart attitude. I'm scared that i'm doing all this for myself, for me to feel good about myself. I wanna be able to this with the love of God, genuinely and sincerely, because otherwise it doesn't count in the eyes of God anyway, everything will be pointless :( pray that this will be nothing i can boast of, instead that God will be glorified through everything.
3. to have courage to be obedience, because what if God did give me opportunity to do these and then i chicken-out - -"

Phew... that's it, i think :)
I'm so excited for my trip back! :D i can't sleep, i still can eat though... a LOT - -" heheheheheh...

God bless you all!

Awesome God

2010-03-08T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm so sorry it took me sooo looongggg to update :p
that should say something about my commitment issue :p :p :p

so WCC was, as always refreshing, rebuking and eye-opening.
I decided to join again this year again because i think i need it. i missed our church's retreat because i went to Utah with my friends :p *guilty* hahah

I absolutely LOVE our discussion after we back in our room :) we(me and my roommates+neighbors) still talk about God; Yes! He is that awesome :) And if you wanna hear the awesome workshops or session a lot of my friend bought the CD, so ask me, let me know :)

Awesome prayer ministry. I went up twice for the team to pray for me :) and i was trying so hard to stay sober, because i am an emotional person and i don't wanna make an emotional decision or judgment. I was trying so hard to stay sober :D And this is what i want to share what God reveals to me during this prayer time:

We were asked to have a quiet time with God and just asked Him to reveal what would hinder us from a possible ministry or relationship with God. i feel like all my life i've been a fearful person. I over-think, over-judge, over-cautious, over-prepared, over-... (you know what i mean) so we prayed and just bring that to God. I know that i have to trust God, but i haven't been surrendering; therefore not trust. :(

2nd prayer time was for us to ask God for a spiritual gift that would help us grow. so i was thinking like God what do i want? what do i need? finally: I want to be able to hear You, God; that what i said. You see, on WCC i feel so envious with the speaker and the counselors, etc etc they just have this awesome awesome relationship with God that they have literal conversations with God. They know what thing to say, they know what need to touch without the other person revealing even anything. I stop for a second and think to myself, would i have care so much too? if God had given me the ear to hear the needs of other people? maybe not :( maybe that's why God didn't trusted me with this gift, just yet :p after we prayed i went back to my seat, and God said the familiar phrase: seek Me and I will meet you there :) so yup that had say something about my so-so walk with God. I haven't been diligent :( I haven't been obedience to God :(

"My obedience = the will of God"

*blushed*

Happy Belated...

2010-02-19T14:11:00.000-08:00

Happy belated Valentines dayyyyy!!!
Happy belated Chinese New Yearrrr!!!
So I spent my weekend over at WCC :)
Came back feeling so refreshed, thanks God :)
sharing will be coming soon, but for now just wanna share this quote:
"If a commission by an earthly king is considered a honor, how can a commission by a Heavenly King be considered a sacrifice?" — David Livingstone

Have a blessed weekend! :)

I am second

2010-01-08T10:09:00.001-08:00

This morning i woke up voiceless... I said a lot of times that i like being sick :p but really i don't like having a sore throat: i can't talk, i can't sing, i still can eat though :p but yea... of course: of all the flu sickness, I had to get a sore throat - -" i think God is teaching me a lesson here :) <3

So on my way to work this morning, i was listening to klove, as they talked about the game yesterday between Texas-longhorn and Alabama-crimson. Texas lost and Alabama won the game. Anyway, Texas quarterback - McCoy was injured quite early in the game. I'm sure he must felt so hopeless for not being able to help and to see his team lost, plus is the last game too. But during an interview this is what he said: (I might have paraphrase this :p because i don't remember his exact words)
"I always give the God the glory, I never question why things happened the way they do. God is in control of my life and I know I'm standing on the rock."
Man! to be able to say that after a lost and injury... i don't know what this man made of T.T I'm in tears this morning for i know that he've been made of God. What an awesome testimony :)

He also has a testimony up in iamsecond.com you can watch his video there. He said that: "There's so many things that the world signify a success, involves winning, etc etc... for me i am successful in life because i have Jesus along side me." Whoa! that's is so powerful and rebuking also humbling :( i'm in tears T.T He also quite handsome :p i pray that God will give me a partner with such faith and love for Him as Colt McCoy does :)

I am second because God is first!
*blushed*

Humbled

2010-01-08T09:41:00.001-08:00

So... on Tuesday night i went home late, like passed midnight after i had dinner with ci jenny and dela. After dropping dela off, i went straight to my apartment. And of course: NO PARKING :( so i thought i would just park at the disabled parking spot in front of the leasing office (i parked there a lot of times before and it was fine, besides i'm going to move it before office hours-8am anyway). So i went to bed right after because clearly it's passed my bed time - -"

But what happened?!?!?! I'm sure it's no surprise to you guys that my car got towed :( Yup! my 1st experience :( I was so angry and sad at the same time. I called the towing company and of course try to justify myself and by doing so it's just make more angry and upset at what happened. But bottom line: I'm still at the wrong. I know that. But it's just so hard to admit that you're wrong.

So Yeye drop me off the next morning to pick up my car and i had to pay the penalty :( it was so expensive and surely i've learned my lesson T.T

I remembered ci santi shared on ES that she got pulled over by the police and how she realize about how there's authority above her. And this experience is indeed humbling for me. A lot of times i have taken God for granted because He is so gracious in showering me with mercy and grace, unlimited & unconditional that a lot of times when i hurt His heart(intentionally/unintentionally) I didn't feel bad. There's no immediate punishment nor sense of urgency -> that's what i think. But this lesson has opened my eyes to see how much of a sinner i am :(

It reminded me of what Christopher Yuan said on WCC 2008: You gotta live with the sense of urgency!

I don't wanna have a terminal illness to be able to live my life for Jesus. I don't wanna be hit hard and fell hard to have to give my life to Jesus. To all of you that read my blog, please held me accountable.

"I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it
When it's all about You
It's all about You Jesus"

*blushed*

Guidance

2010-01-05T15:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year 2010
Whoa, i can't believe it's 2010 :( i'm definitely not ready for all this
Does any of you make a new year resolution?
The following is taken from my devotion, and it helps me to think about my new year resolution:

Return to Me
30 Dec 2009
Marybeth Whalen

"Therefore tell the people: This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD Almighty, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD Almighty." Zechariah 1:3 (NIV)

At first glance, this verse might seem like God is stand-offish and distant. Why do we have to make the first move? But actually, this verse depicts His great love for us. Like the prodigal's father, He waits patiently for our return. He doesn't find us, shake us and demand us to account for our whereabouts. Instead He scans the horizon for our return.

Hoping, but not forcing. Waiting, but not pressuring. Ultimately He gives us free will. We choose when and if we return. And when we do, He promises to return to us. He is a gentleman who doesn't force Himself upon us . God has to see us move of our own free will. That element of choice is intrinsic in His relationship to us.

Returning to God is a practice we will have to engage in over and over in life. The point is not how many times we return to Him, but that we make the effort to do so each time it is necessary. Perhaps you need to return to Him physically—recommitting to meeting with Him in church on a weekly basis. Perhaps you need to return to Him emotionally—determining to trust Him in a difficult time. Perhaps you need to return to Him spiritually—committing to regular prayer and time spent in His Word.

Whatever your return looks like, don't put it off any longer. And don't doubt that He will return to you. Don't believe lies that you are the exception or that you are asking too much of Him. His Word tells us differently. Hebrews 7:19 says, "…a better hope is introduced, by which we draw near to God" (NIV). God made the ultimate way for us to return—through His Son, whose death on the cross allowed us to approach the throne of grace with confidence (Hebrews 4:16). By Him we draw near to God. Not because we are worthy, but because He is.

God wants us to return to Him. He stands waiting with open arms, at the ready to return to us. When He sees us coming, He runs to meet us. "But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him" (Luke 15:20b, NIV).

Are you ready to make that first move today?

Ci Santi shared on ES last sunday about time. And this is another thing that helps me with my new year resolution. I thought it was very good and really rebuking :( at least for me. Few keypoints that i wanted to share:
- Time is in His hands
- You can use it as an idol or tabernacle for His glory
It has come down to making choices. It's such a scary thing :/ if i think about how wise do i use my time :( it is such a disappointment :(

And last one is a quote from William Carey:
"Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God"

Help me God <3
Psalm 23:3
"Guide me in the path of righteousness for Your name's sake"

Michael Mina

2010-01-05T15:03:00.001-08:00

Huaahhh It's been a while since my last post just want to wish everyone a Happy new year!

Another food review, i've been blessed to be able to try this restaurant again with ci jenny :) so here we go:
Advice: the 3 meal course was very pricey, however if you came before 6 you can get a pre-theatre menu for like almost half the price, of course a smaller portion than the regular but it's definitely fulfilling esp. if you're a girl :)
Tips: If you park at the hotel, you can get validation. We parked at Union square parking and truly it's the worst time to go there, it was packed because people are doing Christmas shopping then :(

On the table
the famous gold plate is actually a candle holder:

Not long after we ordered, bread and butter was served. I'm not usually willing to eat the bread before the meal because i just feel bad if i'm too full before the "good stuff" but i actually ate it all :p

Amuse Bouche: i had the foie gras. Now now, i don't normally get this, but last time in gary danko, i left with such a good impression so i thought i give it a try. I cut a small spoonful and put it my mouth, and i thought uh oh i can taste it... taste that this is a liver :( but silly me, i didn't notice that they provide toasted bread to eat with it (like a jam) and it was delish after! :D

Next: I ordered the famous lobster pot pie

and voila:

This was very good. The lobster was fat :D and everything was so tasty including the veggies... can you imagine? even the carrot taste better :p btw, ci jenny ordered the beef and it was equally tasty! yummm...
for the dessert:

It's MM signature root beer float. Okay i know what you're thinking but this oldies combination taste the bomb! hahah :D i love it! it came with 2 cookies (choc chip and cookie brownie) and when you break the cookies the choc inside melts. It's heavenly fatty :( hahahah :D goodness!

Overall:
It's good, however i don't think it's better than gary danko. Gary danko still has my heart :p

Santa Ramen - San Mateo

2009-12-21T15:41:00.000-08:00

Ci Jenny and I been wanting to try this for a while, then finally we get a chance to tried this on sunday! What an experience - -" i was lost on my way to this place, I had to go passed the Loooooooooong san mateo bridge, i was so nervous because i'm not familiar with the are. Iphone GPS keeps changing made me missed my exit :'( My battery is low and my gas was already on E. Plus i had to pay $4 for passing the bridge that i don't need to :(

This is a one expensive ramen T.T because of all that!
There's a line still when i got there, i think me and ci jenny waited for about 20 minutes before we got our seat. It's not too bad, however i think the line was unnecessary because i saw empty tables - -" ok now on to the food: the food was great! However i will think twice to go here next time because of the distance, mostly because i was lost! hahahah :D I love the broth and the noodle, yummm! Halu is another alternative for closer ramen place since i live at san jose-west area, i love halu's ni tamago because the egg was cooked outside but it's half cooked inside. But i think Daikokuya's(Los Angeles) meat is better (melt in your mouth!) -> last time i ate there :)

I had the pork-flavored one

yummm... I wish they're in san jose and not san mateo T.T
Thank God that i can arrive safely at home after a good eat! :)

Los Gatos Cafe

2009-12-21T15:23:00.000-08:00

My saturday was FUN!
It's still my birthday week :) and i feel sooo blessed for having people that love and care so much for me. Thank you God for placing them in my life :) I spend it with ci kiki and fam plus san2 :) they're doing a photo session for christmas-card and they invited me to join

After the photo-shoot, ci kiki and ko chris took us to eat at los gatos cafe :)
It's really good! If you don't wanna spend money and gas to go to Mama's at SF you should definitely try this :'p~
I really like ci kiki's apricot french - toast

Other dish to consider is ko chris's crabcakes

I think Mama's dungeness-crab egg-benedict is better but this one is pretty good too
then i had the seafood-benedict and san2 had the canadian omelette (Sorry no pics :() I think whatever you order over there will be equally good :p'~ however, the apricot french toast really got me! it's delish! :)
If you happen to try it someday, share with me your experience as well :)

*above pictures were taken from yelp, clearly the popular dishes :)

a Foodie

2009-12-21T14:49:00.000-08:00

Wow... i have no idea that the dictionary have a name for people who like to eat like me :p -> they called us foodie
• FOODIE (noun)
The noun FOODIE has 1 sense:

a person devoted to refined sensuous enjoyment (especially good food and drink)

:D i really thank God for the opportunity to enjoy good food. it's truly a blessing. Some people cannot enjoy food because they don't have enough money and others can't enjoy good food because of health-reason.

So my fellow foodie (ci jenny) is going back for good this january :( so with the time left one of the things that she wants to do is to try restaurants she never been to. Good restaurant with good food of course... So me and her are on a quest with the help of yelpers and of course taking recommendation from our expert foodie: "Ela" -> go to good eats section for tips :)

And so we began our 1st quest last friday :)
so let me share a lil' bit of what we did:
Special thanks to nahing and ci jenny for giving me tickets to gabe bondoc "one night only" concert :) i truly enjoy the concert... gahhh :'p~ i wish God will bless me with a husband who has a voice like gabe :) ahhh him and his guitar = awesomeness! although i don't enjoy the full-band as much as i enjoy him singing acoustic-ly but it was greaaaattttt! thanks for the gift! i <3 it :) We had to leave early because of our dinner-reservation so i can't meet him in person :( hahah maybe next time :)

Dinner @ La Folie
overall exp: it's good but it's not great, i don't think it's a must try
I still think Gary Danko is better choice for the price, i had such a great experience over there (food & service) very satisfying!

i had frog legs for appetizer

I was expecting more, so it didn't really wow me, but it's good.
For the price we keep imagining frogs at indonesia :'p~ yummm hahhahah

then i had the duck

it was very tasty and generous portion :D i was happy with this dish

and for the desserts

I think it's the highlights. It was a perfect combination of sweet and salty :) I do think that this is a must try.

Starting today i thought i'd share my foodie quest :) i hope it'll be useful to you

Grateful

2009-12-16T08:38:00.000-08:00

Main Entry: grate·ful
Pronunciation: \ˈgrāt-fəl\
Function: adjective
Etymology: obsolete grate pleasing, thankful, from Latin gratus — more at grace
Date: 1552

1 a : appreciative of benefits received b : expressing gratitude
2 a : affording pleasure or contentment : pleasing b : pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviated

Today is my birthday *yayyy!!!*
So last night i got a lil' time just to have a rewind of what happened to me this year and past years...
A sister of Christ wrote this question one day on her post: Are you following God for His present or for His presence?
On one of my bible study each of use were to give summary/highlights of what happened this year and to give thanks for it. But come to think of it i don't have any really, i don't have a significant highlights. Some of us were married this year or engaged or got a new job but none of those stuffs are happening/applied to me :(

But this year i learned so much about God's faithfulness and His presence through it all. I learned so much about faith and hope in God. I learned so much about preserverance and being faithful. Learned patience in waiting, Learning to trust, to be humble, to be unselfish and that is always good to love more (I'm still learning, not yet an expert :p) Got my relationship restored, got the support i need from my loved ones :)

On my other bible study, we were asked to list out God's blessing (if we can't think of one, we should look at the life of those who are less fortunate than us). Whoa! that makes a difference isn't it? Most of the time i'll look up or look around me but i've never look down. It is a blessing for having a good family, being raised as a Christian, having the privilege to study in America, having the experience working in here and giving the chance in ministry at church and the list goes on...

God reminded me again this year: Nana, doesn't matter if you receive/not receive the gift that you want under the Christmas tree, you have already received the greatest gift of all: Jesus Christ and i'm forever grateful :)

*blushed*

God had made my birthday more special since 3 years ago :)
- december 16, 2007: ci kiki shared the news that she's pregnant in our bible study, full of tears-session T.T
- december 16, 2008: i got to celebrate it with my bible study group + baby maxie
- december 16, 2009: i got to celebrate it again with baby maxie this year!
God has shown Himself through the life of ci kiki and fam and over the years it inspires me in many ways. Thank you for being such a blessing and thank you for letting me be a part of it :)

I'm closing this with a song by hillsong - through it all
the story of my life is that God's with me through it all :)

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-25T09:56:00.000-08:00

The most happiest person on earth must be the person who give thanks in all.

POSITIVE THINKING:
Researchers had found that grateful people report higher levels of positive emotions, more satisfaction with life, and more vitality and optimism. They also found grateful people show lower levels of depression and stress.

HOPEFUL:
What's more, they found that people who write weekly in a journal about things they are thankful for are healthier. They exercise more regularly, report fewer physical symptoms, and feel better in general than people who journal about neutral or negative life events.

CONTENT:
Finally, the research showed that people who daily count their blessings report higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, and energy.

These research was done without religious-ground. just facts.
The research wasn't discovering anything new, but rather confirming the will and wisdom of God. God already knows how great it is for us to be grateful. Now "science" does too.
God had shared this key of happiness in the bible: "Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Sadly many of us including me haven't been practicing that :(
Even though the "good things" is not happening this season but as Christians, we can always find reason to give thanks – thanks for the salvation of Christ, the nearness of God, and the counsel of His Spirit :)

What can you give thanks for today?

Wake-up call

2009-11-05T14:26:00.000-08:00

Ring
One of the question on a group-discussion for our bible study session last tuesday was: what are you really saying about God when you choose to dis-obey?
the harsh truth: i don't really believe that God is trustworthy and that He is on my side, and that He loves me, and that He's by my side :'( and by doing so: God is sad and hurt...

Ring-ring
Last sunday sermon were talking about love. The pastor quoted a paragraph from the book crazy love by Francis Chan. I don't remember the exact words but basically:
1. the simplest/most easy kind of love is the love for friends and family. Simple, everyone even criminals would easily love their friends and family.
2. the next level is the love for the needy, the poor, for those in trouble, etc. Pretty self explanatory :)
3. the highest level is: to love your enemy, to joyfully rejoice for those who's winning when you're failing. To Pray for those who talk about you (false accusation), etc. I'm sure you get my point here.

Confession:
The pastor last sunday said: "you can have the right doctrine but not the right heart." and what i'm about to say in the following pretty much reflect that. I'm so embarrass and sorry as well... for being such a disappointment :( so *taking a deep breath* here we go:
When i see people saying that they're blessed, or when they're thankful of something or that God is good!, in my heart i'll be saying: "Yea, sure. must be something good/great happening here." I was super-skeptical and just bitter :( but no. Once again God is trying to prove me wrong. Some of the situations that those people are in is worst than mine. Some of them loose everything. some of them didn't get what they want. Some of them are overwhelmed with work, some of them are struggling to live. Through those people God said to me during my quiet time: It is impossible to exaggerate Me, you know that. *humbly convicted*

Ring-ring-rriiinggg
- By grace, those people can say God is good because HE IS good! this one is pretty self explanatory. C'mon na, He died for them and you on the cross!!!
- The more self-centered you are, the more unsatisfied you will be.
- To be a woman of God is to be a woman who is faithful~unconditionally.
- and lastly it's from my morning prayer as i pray for myself, i want to pray for you as well who's maybe broken-hearted, disappointed, rejected, bitter or hurt:

Dear Jesus, I know You suffered the sting of rejection and hurt in a much more intense way than I ever will. And while this (enter your situation) is small in the grand scheme of life, it feels huge in my heart right now. Will You help me process this? Will You help me see past it? Will You let this fragile heart feel the warmth of Your love and grace today? In Jesus' Name, Amen.

living in state of grace *blushed*

Audited

2009-10-22T10:21:00.000-07:00

So yea, my auditor is going to come today to audit our month-end stuffs...
i hope i do good. i hate it when when i think that i've prepared , but yet sometimes there's another hole that i'm un-aware of :[

So the same thing goes with my life :[
i thank God for using my bible studies to help audit me :]
and the result is: i didn't do so well... i have holes all over :/
i'm quite dissapointed with my true answer... because i KNOW what i believe, what i suppose to believe, but i'm not living it, which is also mean i don't really believe :[

choices to be or not to be a woman of God. what do you believe about God, is He good or is He not? choose child. That question is kinda like the theme on the book and for some reason keep ringing and bugging me after our BS session on tuesday. and i know probably that is because i'm dissapointed at myself. i know what i'm suppose to do, but i'm not doing it. i'm really sorry Lord... thank you for being so patient with me.

Life's been hard :[ and i have always been amazed at people who's worshiping God with full-passion still; despite of, inspite of. Always wanna be one. So maybe now God's giving me a chance... for me to choose, say and act.

"I believe that God is good."

I have known the Father's care for me
He's been good.. He's been good
Through it all He's always there for me
God's been (so) good to me

Through the storm.. Through the night
Come what may everything will be alright
I have known the Father's care for me
God's been good to me

*blushed*

TGIF :)

2009-10-09T11:05:00.000-07:00

introducing my friend nahing
:) (taken from our g-chat session)

Natalia: guess what i had for dinner last night
me: rabbit? gaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh T.T
Natalia: HAHAHAHA
oh yeah, forgot to pick that up from your house..
me: - -"
Natalia: maybe one day...
haha i had chicken nuggets i haven't had that since davis!
anyway, i burned them gosong
me: you burned them AGAIN?
*smack hand to YOUR head*
- -" *geleng2*
Natalia: hahahaha
i duno how!! they always burn
me: pake oven lbi enak
Natalia: no matter the temperature
me: jgn pake microwave
Natalia: or for how long
iya ini pake oven
me: they should tell u on THE BOXXXX
Natalia: hahahaa
i dont like to read
me: omg - -"
Natalia: masakin dong...
hahaha
Sent at 11:05 AM on Friday
me: moyung - -"
ci jenny's head will surely be copot this time she hear this story
Natalia: hahaha
we like to make her geleng her kepala and make her cry :)
hahaha we're so loving

*blushed* from malu-ness - -"

:)

2009-10-09T10:14:00.001-07:00

Blessed!

2009-10-02T14:54:00.000-07:00

I just wanna share one of the proof that I really am blessed :)
I'm surrounded by friends of God that always encourage me
Check my I FOLLOW list on the bottom right --->
This one is taken from Fonda's blog, she is a gifted writer with a wonderful heart!

Be still

Another quote that’s too good to be kept for myself:
"We need to wait on God, NOT because we need answers, but because He is WORTHY of being waited upon" - Alicia Britt Chole
Take heart, seek diligently, be patient and be still.

*blushed*

B E A U - tiful!

2009-09-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

More than words :)
*blushed*

Don't worry, be happy

2009-09-30T09:59:00.000-07:00

*Gasp!* is the end of september
that means i HAVE TO wake up - -"
as usual i'm never ready - -"

anyway,
We're just starting to use the One month to live book on one of my bible study
On the 1st chapter we're doing self assesment-sort of :o)
1st part for people to review on you and the 2nd one is for you to review yourself.

I'm kinda dissapointed on myself on the people review. It seems like i haven't really been doing things that really matter T.T and i didn't get my priority right.

At the end of the assesment, they asked us to put 5 things we wanna do if we only have 1 month to live and we have to start doing 1 of those things this week :) so one of my commitment is "I choose to be happier" :']

It's been a while since i feel happy :(
Things are not going my way :( and maybe they never will :(
It's really hard to accept things you don't like and to let go things you do like :(
(notice on the number of :( T.T and - -" -> you'll know that i'm not happy)
So the application is: for me to journal on the things that i should be thankful for instead of looking at the negatives and start complaining like i always do :(

so here it it is:

Sept 17'09 - I thank God for my bible study: for the reminder, encouragement and accountability :)
Sept 18'09 - I thank God because He never give up on me, I thank God for a treasured-friendship :) <3 yossi and ci en2
Sept 19'09 - I thank God for Houston trip and being able to enjoy good food. I thank God for puting a smile on my face :) throughout the trip!
Sept 20'09 - I thank God for CALIFORNIA's weather, it's trully the best :p
Sept 21'09 - I thank God for the power and strength You've given so I can survive the monday at work :p
Sept 22'09 - I thank God for showering me enough love and grace to deal with unpleasant situation/ difficult people :p
Sept 23'09 - I thank God for God's protection and presence unto Pho2's life. She is 83 years old today :)
Sept 24'09 - I thank God for giving me enough energy to move and to stay WAY pass my bed time :p
Sept 25'09 - I thank God that I can spent time with ci en2 today despite all the moving-hectic :)
Sept 26'09 - I thank God :) for ci jenny :) + nahing + ci en2. I thank God for the wonderful and the super majestic view, You are trully an awesome awesome God! (i'll post the pictures of our trip one of these days :)) *tears of joy*
Sept 27'09 - I thank God for Your presence in my life :) i'm really sad with the goodbye, really tired with the moving and nearly breakdown after miso's cage :( but I thank God for holding me up in all situations :)
Sept 28'09 - I thank God for You always watch over me :) through little things, You show that you care. 1 Peter 5:7 :) Thank God for the shopping cart :p
Sept 29'09 - I thank God for my lil' chat with Fonda, we both agree that we need to do more praying :) and also thank God for the time we can spend time with Irene before she went back to indo
Sept 30'09 - Thank God that today is pay-day :p :) Thank you for providing my needs.

Notice the number of :)?
*blushed*

Wake me up when september ends...

2009-09-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

Hehehehehe :)
The weather is starting to drop. It was raining sunday night and it's been cool/cold since. I'm gonna blame it to the weather for making me lazy - -" to do anything, if i could i would stay in bed all day! :) I think the weather has made everyone feeling under the weather, yeah everyone excepts me...

My roomate is not feeling well yesterday she had a fever, she's getting better later on the day but i'm scared that this morning she might feel sick again. Morning is like the worst for sick-people! >.<

My baby maxie is sick :( baby, aunty miss hugging you and kissing you and playing with you :) I hope you get well real soon :) Praying for your speedy recovery :) I miss your eye-smile! :)

So, I have always wanted to be sick, to just spend my sick day! I know, i know you probably think i'm crazy - -" hehehehehe but the matter of a fact is: I rarely sick. I guess I have to thank God for that. I never been sick enough to appreciate health :( I'm sorry Lord for taking things for granted.

Reminder:
1 Corinthians 6:19-20

19Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

*blushed*

911

2009-09-11T14:56:00.000-07:00

So my parents were flying back today, we sent them to SFO last night...
I miss'em so much already T.T

I had shared with yossi, that I'm not a superstitious person or anything like that but somehow knowing that they're flying on Sept 11, worries me... :( She said to me: "Jangan mau diboongin iblis!" She's kind enough to check up on me at 12am my time, meaning it's 2am her place *hugsss* :)

I thank God for words of comfort that i received today through devotional, through friends and even through the writing on a wall :) and if you are foolish-ly worry like me, I want to share these encouraging words:

"Lord, please remind me; that there's nothing that are going to happen today that You and I together cannot handle." -> the writing on the wall

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. --> klove on the way to work

"This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it" (Psalm 118:24). --> today's devotion

Today is the day - Lincoln Brewster

I`m casting my cares aside
I`m leaving my past behind
I`m setting my heart and mind on You, Jesus

I`m reaching my hand to Yours
Believing there`s so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good, is good

Chorus:
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m trusting in what You say
Today is the day

I putting my fears aside
I`m leaving my doubts behind
I`m giving my hopes and dreams to You, Jesus

I`m reaching my hands to Yours
Believing there`s so much more
Knowing that all You have in store for me is good, Is good

Chorus:
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m trusting in what You say
Today is the day

I will stand upon Your truth.
(I will stand upon Your truth)
And all my days I`ll live for You
(And all my days I`ll live...)

Chorus:
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
Today is the day You have made
I will rejoice and be glad in it
And I won`t worry about tomorrow
I`m giving you my fears and sorrows
Where you lead me I will follow
I'm trusting in what you say
Today is the day!

He had to convinced me 3-times because i'm so weak
I'm sorry Tuhan Yesus :(
*blushed* <3

FEARLESS

2009-09-02T11:07:00.000-07:00

Count to Eight (Woe, Be Gone)
by Max Lucado

"We have here only five loaves and two fish." (Matt. 14:17)

How do you suppose Jesus felt about the basket inventory? Any chance he might have wanted them to include the rest of the possibilities? Involve all the options? Do you think he was hoping someone might count to eight?

"Well, let's see. We have five loaves, two fish...and Jesus!" Jesus Christ. The same Jesus who told us:

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. (Luke 11:19 NIV)

If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. (John 15:7 NIV)

What ever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (Mark 11:24 NIV)

Standing next to the disciples was the solution to their problems...but they didn't go to him. They stopped their count at seven and worried.

What about you? Are you counting to seven, or to eight?

Here are eight worry stoppers to expand your tally:

Pray, first. "Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him...(I Peter 5:7 AMP)

Easy now. Slow down. "Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him (Ps. 37:7).

Act on it. The moment a concern surfaces, deal with it. Don't dwell on it. Head off worries before they get the best of you. Be a doer, not a stewer.

Compile a worry list. Over a period of days record your anxious thoughts. Then review them. How many of them turned into a reality?

Evaluate your worry categories. Detect recurring areas of preoccupation that may become obsessions. Pray specifically about them.

Focus on today. God meets daily needs daily. He will give you what you need when it is needed.

Unleash a worry army. Share your feelings with a few loved ones. Ask them to pray with and for you.

Let God be enough. "Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need." (Matt. 6:32-33 NLT).

Eight steps. Pray, first. Easy, now. Act on it. Compile a worry list.Evaluate your worry categories. Focus on today. Unleash a worry army. Let God be enough.
P-E-A-C-E-F-U-L

*blushed*

News Update

2009-08-31T14:02:00.000-07:00

Whoa! it's the end of august already - -"
so fast... as usual, i'm not ready :(
for things that has happened or yet to happen, i'm never ready... why na...? :(

update (warning: it's a long one :p):
1. my parent're here :)
Thank God for His protection for my family :)
we sorta had our lil' talk and i'm still sensing their disagreement esp. my mom's and it just made me really sad and frustrated. Still no news from the lawyer :( has made it harder for me to plan my next step. Help me God... what dissapoints me is that She always has the talk about God' will and "Berkat Tuhanlah yang menjadikan kaya, susah payah tidak menambahinya." Amsal 10 : 22 If so then what's the matter with going back in indo. I know, I know that it breaks her heart because i didn't leave up to her expection and i feel bad for being rebellious :( because most of my friends, they did what their parents want them to do. I just want to be understood, is it too much to aks? Plus my dad said that He doesn't know how much time he have left, I know, i know life is in God's hand but as much as i can i wanna spend my time with him. I just, I can't do this myself :'( Help me God... as much as i'm angry i love them, i really do. Otherwise i won't be this frustrated...
2. my dear cousin was married last saturday, glad to hear that he's happy.
with all of the things that happened between us, i feel that he's like a brother i have never had. because we argue, a lot! :D we had our fights, but we care deep down about each other. I'm gonna miss him... :(
3. one of my uncle in indo got diagnose with cancer, it makes me really sad :(
He's a believer and his kids all grown-up with family of their own, but still i can't imagine how sad/hard the news is for them... even for me :'( the doctor had suggested to do an operation, but he doesn't wanna do it, because the sensei(chinese doctor) he's been seeing said that the cancer going to spread with the operation.
[Please pray together with me :) for him]
4. so we're watching Laskar Pelangi last night, it's kinda like Indo's version of slumdog millionaire :p my mom and dad is from Belitung Island in indo and apparently the movie was about Belitung-kid, they filmed everything there :) a little promotion, i always thought that Belitung is better than Bali :) it's undiscovered before :) therefore undeveloped :( unlike bali. My parents said that because of the movie a lot of tourists actually go to belitung now. here's sneak preview of how beautiful belitung is, you can browse different pictures. It's a really good movie :) it's about the importance/hardship of education. This poor kid (who's the main character) is a successful man today, and this story is about him and his classmates and his dedicated teacher. This movie was a success in Indo and they dedicated some of the profit to further education in the poor-school.
5. my bff and his fiancee were here over the weekend. Man! i miss having her around :) her bubbly-ness just bubbling everyone :) i miss her already, but thank God in 2 weeks, I'll have another visits :) she's an amazing baker/person! kekekekeke, she was here for the wedding and during the ceremony i shed a single tear so she said to me: "don't cry more than me on my wedding!" hahahah, i think i will dude! :p

Phew... sorry if it's too long :)
I just want to end today's update with the song that we sang yesterday at church, it really gives me strength:
I know who holds tomorrow

Great is Thy faithfullness

2009-08-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

so last sunday we're talking about how waiting and wondering can be.
it is exactly how i feel right now.
Clueless - -"
Things aren't going like how i wanted to be - -"

However this verse stuck in my head and i wanted to share it with you guys:

Genesis 15
God's Covenant With Abram
1 After this, the word of the LORD came to Abram in a vision:
"Do not be afraid, Abram.
I am your shield, [a]
your very great reward. [b] "

I feel like God is trying to tell me the same thing:
After this, the word of the LORD came to Nana through sunday sermon:
"Do not be afraid, na.
I am your shield,
your very great reward. "

2 Timothy 2:13 (New International Version)

13if we are faithless,
he will remain faithful,
for he cannot disown himself.

*blushed*
Thank God for an awesome God!

the GOAL

2009-07-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

Today when i open biblegateway the TODAY VERSE is:
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”- Philippians 3:14

Gosh! It made me realize: that I've lost track. I got distracted by my situation and drowned in the confusion. I said to the God that the only thing out of my life is to make Him proud of me. That one day He can say to me: "Well done, good and faithful servant!"

Instead of looking at my goal I've been looking at my surrounding.
God, if I may, I need one more confirmation...

Please pray for me
Please pray with me :)

may God be seen

2009-07-17T12:09:00.000-07:00

Week of July 17
My Struggles are About Him
by Max Lucado

What about your struggles? Is there any chance, any possibility, that you have been selected to struggle for God's glory? Have you "been granted for Christ's sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake" (Philippians 1:29)?

Here is a clue. Do your prayers seem to be unanswered? What you request and what you receive aren't matching up? Don't think God is not listening. Indeed he is. He may have higher plans.

Here is another. Are people strengthened by your struggles? A friend of mine can answer yes. His cancer was consuming more than his body; it was eating away at his faith. Unanswered petitions perplexed him. Well-meaning Christians confused him. "If you have faith," they said, "you will be healed."

No healing came. Just more chemo, nausea, and questions. He assumed the fault was a small faith. I suggested another answer. "It's not about you," I told him. "Your hospital room is a showcase for your Maker. Your faith in the face of suffering cranks up the volume of God's song."

Oh, that you could have seen the relief on his face. To know that he hadn't failed God and God hadn't failed him--this made all the difference. Seeing his sickness in the scope of God's sovereign plan gave his condition a sense of dignity. He accepted his cancer as an assignment from heaven: a missionary to the cancer ward.

A week later I saw him again. "I reflected God," he said, smiling through a thin face, "to the nurse, the doctors, my friends. Who knows who needed to see God, but I did my best to make him seen."

Bingo. His cancer paraded the power of Jesus down the Main Street of his world.

God will use whatever he wants to display his glory. Heavens and stars. History and nations. People and problems.

Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God.

Through your problems and mine, may God be seen.

AMEN! *blushed*

My update:
I decided to talk with the HR anyways after contemplating for quite some times, so we'll see what happens...
So sad to hear and see all the news today is about bombing that happened yesterday at Jakarta. Thank God really for my dad's visa. It's like right on time, He got before all this happened. Must be harder to get it now.
When talking with my parents yesterday, I sense they still want me to be here. I was again of course upset especially with my mom, because why wouldn't they just support my decision and said: Yes, i know it's gonna be hard but we're going to go through it together. And besides, to my defense: God's protection is not limited to people staying in the United States!!! *arrrghhh* I'm so emotional. And other thing: do you think i'll be fine and happy having the "security" here but knowing that my mom and dad are not.

:( *confused*

He calls my name :)

2009-07-09T10:02:00.001-07:00

I'm sooo happy that i got to record baby maxie saying nanananana :D
I listen to it over and over and over again and it makes me happy!

So during one of my quiet time, i came to realize God must've been feel same way. How he longed for all of us to call His name :)
Just my two cents, for those of you who feel or are drifted away from God, He's waiting for You to call His name :)
and God's name is certainly not like my name, I can't do anything. But His name is powerful!

My dad is going to apply us visa today in indo, im quite nervous.
I know He is too :)
so i prayed to God for calmless and peacefulness for all of us, knowing & trusting it in God's hands, whatever happens God knows best -> it's really hard to say that :( But He indeed knows best. I can't argue nor deny it.

YOUR NAME - Paul Baloche

Jesus, in Your Name we pray
Come and fill our hearts today
Lord, give us strength to live for You and glorify Your Name

CHORUS
Your Name is a strong and mighty tower
Your Name is a shelter like no other
Your Name, let the nations sing it louder
'Cause nothing has the power to save but Your Name

AMEN! *blushed*

the Not so Secret ;)

2009-06-24T08:36:00.000-07:00

Starbucks:
Cap'n Crunch (Not on the menu) but it is requestable :)
It tastes exactly like the cereal
It is actually Strawberry's cream frappuccino with toffee nut & java chip

Jamba juice:
White gummy (as in gummy bear); also red gummy
Pink Starburst
Amazingly tastes exactly like it :p

Gchat non-listed emoticons:
>.< = WINCE
+/'\ = COWBELL
}:-) = DEVIL
V.v.V = CRAB
:() = MONKEY
:(:) = PIG
< / 3 = BROKEN HEART
:-x or :* = KISS
: { = MOUSTACHE
:'( = CRYING
[:] = ROBOT
~@~ = POO

ENJOY :)

God is cheering for you!!!

2009-06-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

By Max Lucado

If your God is Mighty enough to ignite the sun, could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path?
God is for you. Not "may be," not "has been," not "was," not "would be," but "God is!" He is for you. Today. At this hour. At this minute. As you read this sentence. No need to wait in line or come back tomorrow. He is with you. He could not be closer than he is at this second. His loyalty won't increase if you are better nor lessen if you are worse. He is for you.
God is for you. Turn to the sidelines; that's God cheering your run.
Look past the finish line; that's God applauding your steps. Listen for him in the bleachers, shouting your name. Too tired to continue? He'll carry you. Too discouraged to fight? He's picking you up. God is for you.
God is for you. Had he a calendar, your birthday would be circled. If he drove a car, your name would be on his bumper. If there's a tree in heaven, he's carved your name in the bark. We know he has a tattoo, and we know what it says. "I have written your name on my hand," he declares (Isa. 49:16).

Update

2009-06-02T15:37:00.000-07:00

People are leaving, what's new *sighhh*
Yup, my roomate is leaving in 3 weeks :(
My other friend is leaving for good on july
My bff is leaving on december
and so i think maybe this time it's my time too...
I don't know...

I cry myself to sleep last night, asking-pleading God to just let me know what He wants me to do next. The time is so near it scares me... I'm not doing my part to extend my h1b while the time i supposed to do it is NOW! I wanted to wait. I want to wait. For I know that He is always on-time. And so i thought the time is NOW. NOW is the deadline. But all i hear was silence.

I remembered hearing klove sometimes last week about how you know when God's talking to you, how you hear God's voice. I heard bunch of different stories, one that i remembered was this guy sitting on his truck about to use drugs but then God intervered. He said it was like a voice in his heart and life been different ever since. I went to ALCF for their Night of Worship last week and one of the testimony was also about God intervering with lifes and lifes change.

But what about me? How come i haven't heard anything yet God?
Sometimes i wonder if i already know the answer and i'm just afraid to go with it.

The easier life would be staying here, apart from it's hard being away from my parents of course. But here, it seems like my life is set. Yea sure, i'm doing the same routine boring things, but that what makes it so easy.

For good - i have no idea what i'm gonna do
the only happy thoughts is that i'll be with my parents
for all that i know, it won't be the same as having a vacation back
for me it'll be all downgrade
my independence-y of doing things, it'll be gone :(

so i think about it over and over and over, am i stupid or what? to choose the more uncertain path? the downgrade one?! i don't know...

He didn't tell me what He wanted me to do, but He did tell me: "I'll be with you" so that is how i come up with the decision to go back this year. I think...

The sermon last sunday:
Our God is a creative God and He loves us so much that He's willing to change His mind on us that is when we decide or when we want to do other things. He's willing to work with us. And that no matter how wrong the road that we take/took; He can change it. Bad to good. Death to life. Left to Right. Jesus loves me, i just need to trust that. I always think the bad that could happen and because i hated that thing or i'm weak at that; i think God will purposely, intendedly gives me that. Even if He did though, it's not to watch me suffer but because He loves me.

I did ask Him to give me peace so i can live joyfully. and i think He did answered that one through sunday's sermon.
God: "It doesn't matter, na."
Afterall, He did answer...

*blushed*

Thank You :)

2009-05-20T09:28:00.001-07:00

We finally finished our 40 days of love :) yayyy!!!

if anything, i learned to be really grateful for friends and family that put up with me, despite all, inspite all... :) i've learned that it's so easy to show love to your loved ones, but not to people that you (not hate) but prefer to avoid *sighhh*

I learned that at times, i could be irritating and annoying and mostly selfish! :(
thank God who never give up on me and unconditionally accepts me.
thank God for friends who tell me what i need to hear not what i want to hear.
and mostly i'm sorry for my dearest loved ones, because on those ugly-times, i've hurt you the most :( i have taken you for granted, the ones who i know, will always be there for me :(

ok enough for the mushy part :'( *tears*
hehehehhe :)
with my other bible study, we're studying a new chapter on spiritual breakthrough... i'm excited! but always the challenge is when you have to do it *sighhh* sometimes i purposely don't wanna be knowledgeable on somethings, because i know, when i know then i'm gonna have to start doing something about it...

but i'm excited to see God's works on us :)
on me: my trust-issue :p

But whatever You do, Lord…don’t leave me the same. - Joanna Weaver (Having a Mary Spirit)

What's your story?

2009-05-12T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's a pretty interesting weekend i have :)

I thank God for the opportunity that I can be once again go to disneyworld...
it's a trully magical place :) ahhh... we spent our saturday night watching fireworks at magic kingdom, it's 10 minutes of uuuuuhsss... and aahhhhssss :)

I got to learned about love-lesson over this trip. And it's really hard to love difficult people. But God do it to me every hour, every minute, every second of my life. Thank you God for showering me with Your unconditional love.

and oh, my bff got officially engaged! YAY!!! :D

I looked at the life of others and they seemed to have things plan out already. They are not in the place they were before. They moved on. But when i look at mine, i'm still here... and i don't have a plan, i don't know what i'm suppose to do next...
but this morning God reminded me through today's devotion:
"Stop comparing your story to any one else's story. You are unique. Give God the pen and let Him write the next chapter."

Dear Jesus, I am a witness. A story unfolded and written by Your hand. Give me courage to tell it to someone who needs to hear it. Thank You for being the Author of every chapter of my life. In Jesus' Name, amen.

In the meanwhile, He gave me (us) something to hold on to:
Ephesians 3:20
He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us

keep P.U.S.H-ing : Pray Until Something Happens :)

Excited >.<

2009-04-30T11:00:00.000-07:00

It's 3 days before orlando :)

To be honest i'm pretty stress... but then i decided to just let it out and be honest... so i shared my concern with my friends and i think i feel better now :) thank you God...

I'm going to be MC this friday, I knew i wanted to share about miss california, so i did a little research on the articles after miss USA.

So here's what i found:

"I learned that God has a bigger crown than any man can give you," she said.

"I don't take back what I said," she told Lauer, adding that she "had spoken from my heart, from my beliefs and for my God."

"It's not about being politically correct," she said. "For me, it's about being biblically correct."

*blushed*

Another Freebbiesss

2009-04-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

april 27 -> KFC grilled chicken
april 28 -> El Pollo Loco

WAH! i'm definitely going to try those :p

I'm super excited for my vacation next week to orlando... :)
but at the same time kinda nervous... :/
but God will be with us, so it's all good!

Have a blessed week everyone...

"Say hey, it’s a good day
Even if things aren’t going my way
Jesus is Lord and I am saved
So, say hey, it’s a good day"

FREEBIES :)

2009-04-22T09:50:00.000-07:00

I Love freebies and deals and coupons hahahh :D
On my agenda:
april 21 -> ben n jerry free scoop
april 22 -> 8 pieces of chicken at popeyes for 4.99
april 29 -> baskin n robbins .31

I went to get my cherry garcia last night... and the line wasn't that bad compared to last year :)
YAY!!! free ice cream on a hot day!

Flip side:
I got my laptop for FREE as a birthday gift from my beloved friends about 2 years ago
I was happy and content about it because it's free :)
I got it for free but my friends actually paid for it
For every FREE stuff that we get, it's an EXPENSE for others

I got reminded on this quote saying that our salvation is FREE but it ain't cheap!
Jesus paid for our sin with His life so that we can be free

*blushed*
free stuff = hidden love

INVU

2009-04-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

I got the opportunity accompanying my friend this weekend to look at wedding dresses.
Man! she looked super pretty :D
I really wanna try it on too but then i feel wierd...
I hope i can wear one someday :)

If you're waiting like me, i just wanna share some quotes from my bible study leader's blog. This is what she said when she waited for God's best!
"I am worth waiting for. Through Jesus’ strength, I can stand firm, unwavering, as I wait for God’s best."

Highlight of the week:
last night was the miss usa pageant.
Miss CA was asked this controversial question regarding gay marriage.
I almost positive she's going to state her support for gay marriage...
but she'd surprised me with her answer. She said according to what she believes that the marriage should be between man and woman. :) *props to you miss CA* you just made me blush :)

Even though her answer might jeopardize her winning but God was smiling last night when she answered that. She came in number 2. I thought she would've gotten number 5 because of her answer :9 so yayyyyy!!! to miss CA :)

Lesson:
I often trying to seek approval of men that i give in to the pattern of this world :(

Galatians 1:10 (New International Version)
10Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

Blessed Assurance

2009-04-17T14:59:00.000-07:00

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)
11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Savior, Please

2009-04-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

-John Wilson

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough I can't do this alone,
God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast
Will You begin right where I end
And be the God of all I am because You're all that I have

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love
Savior, please keep saving me

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need
And I am learning to believe
That I don't have to prove a thing
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

*blushed*

Let go and Let God!

2009-04-16T09:32:00.000-07:00

Today is supposedly miso’s b’day :)
Yayyy! Happy b’day miso :)
A lil introduction: miso is my bunny, I have him for about 4 years now :)

Today, I got reminded on this verse through my morning devotion:
"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,'" declares the Lord. 'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9 (NIV)

About three years ago, miso fell and he fractured his bone. I took him to the doctor, and the doctor pretty much said that it was the end of him. The doctor gave me pain killers and a week to decide what to do with him. I definitely don’t want to put him to sleep but at the same time my heart just can’t bear seeing him hurting. And me, of course with my “fear of loosing” and my attachment to him, I cried like crazy, my friends were trying to console me. But thank God, God gave me extraordinary bunny and extraordinary friends. He survived through that, I don’t know how. I don’t know why.

I always wanted to be a story, and I thank God for giving me this story to remember. I realize that many times I have asked God for miracles to happen in my life but not once I want to be in that miserable hopeless state again.

However, I think I am now in that state
I am in that place again
confuse+worry+scared :(
I am super scared but excited for Your miracle...
Help me to hold on to Your promise...

me + GOD = *blushed*

I dreamed a dream

2009-04-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

I came across this lady: Susan Boyle from Brittain's got talent!
She's amazing and her voice just brought tears in my eyes.
She deserves the three yes-es from the judges.

It's a lesson for everyone: don't judge the book by its cover.
Everyone was laughing at her at first, but at the end of the performance noone who wasn't in awe. she got a standing ovation.

You should check her out on youtube :)

1 Samuel 16:7 (New International Version)
7 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

*blushed*

I'm singin'

2009-03-19T10:26:00.000-07:00

-kari Jobe

Only one name lasts forever
Only one fame stands alone
Only one King has an anthem
That goes on and on and on

And I'm Singing to the God who brings redemption to the nations
Kings and oceans bow to Him in praise
And I'm Singing to the God who wrote the book on our salvation
To the One who covers me in grace
I'm Singing

Only one word in the beginning
Only one truth will prevail
Only one love brings you freedom
Only one Man took the nails

And I'm Singing to the God who brings redemption to the nations
Kings and oceans bow to Him in praise
And I'm Singing to the God who wrote the book on our salvation
To the One who covers me in grace
I'm Singing

Praise, Praise to the Savior
Praise, to the Lamb Of God
Praise, in all of His splendor
Praise, for saving my life

I'm singin' ... :)

The happiest place on earth :)

2009-03-13T15:32:00.000-07:00

I absolutely love disney :)
I think i did mention it that to me is indeed the happiest place on earth :)
props to walt disney :)
He died from lung cancer in 1966, but his name remains and greatly remembered :)

I've been struggling about my future quite a while
Actually try very hard to avoid it, but it's inevitable, just gotta face it now!
I've learned in these couple of weeks that: the happiest place on earth is in the center of God's will :) there's peace, joy, and definitely a dream come true!
I haven't reach there yet...
but hopefully, I'm on my way... (help me God)

I still don't know what I'm gonna do, or where I'm gonna be at but as long I'm with Him, I know I'm gonna be fine. Thank You God for blessed assurance!

And just like Walt Disney, I wish of a life that can be greatly remembered.
I wanna leave a legacy of You, Lord :)

*blushed*

When i think about the Lord ... blushed

2009-03-06T10:28:00.000-08:00

by: hillsong united
and by me :o)

When I Think about the Lord,
How He saved me
How He raised me
How He filled me with the Holy Ghost
How He healed me to the uttermost

When I Think about the Lord,
How He picked me up and turned me around
How He placed my feet on solid ground

*It makes me wanna shout: Hallellujah!
Thank you JESUS
LORD, your worthy of all the glory and all the honor and all the praise...*

*blushed* :)

Hello Love :)

2009-03-06T10:14:00.000-08:00

Me and my friends, we had the opportunity to watched Chris Tomlin's concert yesterday night. It was awesome :) Lotsa testimony and encouraging word.
God reminded me again and again through people and their experience... that I am blessed to have known God in my life.

I thank You God for being so patient with me
Everything seems so fuzzy for me Lord
I pray for clear signs that You will show me what to do and which road to take
Help me to have the right attitude despite of my situation
Help me to know You are near :)

2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (New International Version)
"8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

I am going to lead worship tonight, and i'm quite nervous because i don't think i'm ready. I'm not encouraging enough for myself and i don't know if i can be encouraging for others... help me God and to God be all glory for today's ministry.

Grant me joy and peace :)

WICKED - the musical

2009-03-02T10:01:00.000-08:00

finally watched it :) i <3 it!
it was awesome... man! wish i could sing like that :)
it's funny, it'e really entertaining, guarantee you won't get bored :)
highly reccommended! :D

i was watching it again and again days after that... it was on youtube :)
heheheh...

He pinky-promised :)

2009-02-25T14:24:00.000-08:00

I was driving from work 2 days ago, when i saw pretty rainbow.
I know that God was speaking to me, i suddenly feel LOVED!
I can hear His promises in my ears, that He's holding me.

G: "Everything's gonna be allright, na..."
n: Thank you God... :)

" i don't have a god i can hold in my hands
i have a God whose holding me."

*blushed*

Mean Girl

2009-02-23T11:08:00.000-08:00

That’s how I see myself these couple of days.
I hate it :(
I don’t know what to do, what to say or how to act.

BRAVE FACE(polinar) © 2008

i put on a brave faceevery time i see you and you're with her
everybody tells me that you and me will never work
i have come to terms with this somehow
i'm ok but there's still a part of me that wants to hear you saying that you love me
saying that you love me now
i look for cues i search for signs
anything that would make me feelmore than fine
but then i get tired of trying to be inspired
i'll just to have accept that you're moving on, moving on, moving on...

:( Help me God, I need You…
Give me enough love and grace to be sincere, enough strength and power to move on
bring me back to You...
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit
*flushed*

You've got tag!

2009-02-17T16:02:00.000-08:00

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

I’ve been tagged on Facebook, I thought I share a lil bit of myself:
1. I miss my parents everyday T.T and absolutely hate the fact that I’m 8708 miles away from them T.T
2. Even though I think I’m quite careful, I get cuts and bruises daily. I hate sharp edges, I think they all should just be round and friendly :], just like my drawings :]
3. I like the number 7 and 8, but nothing superstitious: I have my own reasons. Btw, nana is 7 in Japanese :]
4. I feel like I’m under-develop - -“ if I have 3 wishes it’ll be to have a longer chin, longer fingers and to be taller!
5. I always wanted to have a big brother, but now I just wish I have siblings :[, any will do. But i think God provide my need through friends :] best friends!
6. I can’t make decision, most of the time indecisive. Not that I don’t care but I just don’t mind.
7. I haven’t found any allergies or any food that I don’t like yet :9 I enjoy eating good food with a good view. I love checking yelp out for a good review on restaurants. Highly recommending: Gary Danko!
8. I like colors that are “ga jelas” and adore details on things, for example: lil button, or ruffles on the edges will make me go awwwww…
9. I hate reptiles and bugs and scary movies. They creep me out…
10. I used to be afraid of dogs, but now I wish I could have a bichon or old-english sheepdog, maybe someday I will.
11. I love to sing! and have a thing for musicians, i think they're cool :9
12. I don't believe in love at first sight.
13. I am a cheapo and proud to be one! :D I love freebies and deals and coupons and vouchers and discounts. Disclaimer: I’m NOT stingy.
14. It’s really hard to identify my favorites, because apparently I have lots of favorites (I have lots of paling suka!)
15. I like early spring, because that’s the time when my favorite tree is blooming, I can seriously say my favorite in this case :p
16. I’m a sucker for dimples. I don’t have dimples myself, but my car does :p
17. I love the smell of laundry <3>
18. I think babies are supposed to be chubby. But regardless I think babies are just adorably cute!
19. I cried when miso (my bunny) pooped for the 1st time. But now: I’m attached! I love you miso hot.
20. I love the sky, the one thing that I never get bored of. I like how blue the sky is and how fluffy the cloud is. I feel loved whenever i see the ray of sun breaking through the clouds. My jaw would drop everytime rainbow appear on the sky. I’m amazed on how stars and moon enjoying each other’s company. How great is our GOD!
21. I can’t multitask while driving - -“ I miss exits, etc etc…
22. I hate goodbyes. Enuf said.
23. I am a hopeless romantic, I like watching romantic comedies, and wouldn’t mind watching it again even though I watched it before. I like watching korean/japanese drama. I like reading comics/anime. It’s my escape from reality.
24. I LOVE everything disney, I think they should hire me for promoting them or you know give me a free pass because I went there like really often and I’m not even in so-cal. I enter the sweepstakes all the time but never win :( Everything there just excites me. It is indeed the happiest place on earth! And I think one of the best gifts I ever gotten is 6 days tickets to disneyworld! Wouldn’t mind getting it again *hint hint* :9
25. and I am forever grateful for the cross. I can’t imagine my life without Jesus :] It is truly the greatest gift of all *blushed*

thank you for reading all the way to the bottom.. :]
Gosh! I wish I can do more than 25 :9

thank You...

2009-02-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

Just a little while longer I wanna pray
Can't get You off my mind so I came to say:
Thank You Lord just for loving me
Many times as I do forget
Every need that You have met
Oh thank You Lord, I know You're showing me
You are there when I am down and out
You're holding me, Your love is so amazing
Oh it changed me

Here I am with all I am
Raise my hands to worship You
I wanna say thank you, oh thank you
For everything, for who You are
You cover me, You touch my heart
I wanna say thank you

I could have died in my sin but You saved me
Didn't have any hope at all
You gave me peace divine, strength to carry on
I should have been the one to pay
But instead You took my place
My Jesus, words cannot explain
Even though I don't deserve Your love for me
You look beyond my fault and You showed mercy

I wanna say thank you for the sun
I wanna say thank you for the rain
Everything You do is beautiful
I'm so grateful for Your love

*deep sigh*
*blushed* :`)

Too Blessed to be Stressed!

2009-02-09T10:03:00.000-08:00

Hafta always, keep reminding myself on that phrase.
I'm feelin a lil' down again... :(
but again God has opened up my eyes and heart to my surrounding *blushed*
whatever I'm going thru right now is absolutely nothing to be complained about
Things are definitely not going my way now, but I hope it's going on God's way

I thank you for friends who share encouraging stories and a God who never give up on me :)
How can i give up on Him then...
*blushed* completely...

Learning to love, actually

2009-01-29T15:08:00.000-08:00

I never thought I’d would struggle this much learning about love.
I mean: I thought of myself as “not-looking for trouble” kind of person and mostly kind and friendly and funny and yea :p
But the truth just opened up my eyes and my heart and I really am rebuked by it.
It’s actually a constant struggle for me.
If love is a course, I would probably flunked the test :(

Trust Issue

Yep. Start with that one.
The bible said on John 4:16 “so we know and rely on the love God has for us.”
Knowing is one but trusting is another.
Most of the time, I worry so much that I acted like an unbeliever :(
Worry = not trusting = not loving.

Habitual

Love should be impartial and consistent.
I love people that love me. Friends and family, I even called them my loved-ones. I love babies, there’s so adorable, what’s not to love about them. But what about the rest of the people?
I usually just ignore them before I make things worst. After all isn’t ignorance a bliss?
But ignoring = not loving.

Choice and commitment

It’s not simply attraction, emotion and affection. It’s devotion.
But most of the time I’m like a switch: on and off, on and off, on and off…
And on and off = not loving.

But I’m learning now.
And hopefully I can pass the final exam!
*blushed* :`)

New Year!

2009-01-28T14:55:00.000-08:00

Gosh! it's 2009... already!!!
I'm not ready :'( i really wish i have a pause button .
I don't know what i'm gonna do this year. I don't have a plan and don't know what to plan.
And i thought by now i must've move on. But i stayed.
Help me God...

Today God reminded me about Abraham and his journey.
Pretty much like me, he was clueless and he had his down-time too.
He worried. He doubted. He failed. But he also rised, repented and faithful.
And God was with him the whole time he failed until the end.
*blushed* :`)

And God had to sent my friend to convince me because He knows i'm a "Thomas"
I got an email today on "Tips how to thrive on 2009":
They key is to focus on—and believe—God's promises.
Focus on God's promises . . . and you will thrive in uncertainty. Take your eyes off of them, and you'll sink like Peter on the water when he took his eyes off Jesus.

Tip #1: Take daily note of God's promises.
You can't live by what you don't know. You can't eat if you don't know where food is. Therefore, you should spend a little time each day of 2009 in God's Word so that He can remind you of who He is and what He will do for you and through you.

Tip #2: Believe God's promises.
"Believe?" In the middle of chaos or pain or worry? I know, easier said than done. But it must be done! When you read God's promises to believers—of provision when you're in need, of peace when trouble is all around you, of power when you're weak—you must dare to believe that He will bring them to pass in your life. And then . . .

Tip #3: Stand on God's promises no matter what.
Here's some advice from someone who's been there. Once you commit to trust in God's promises to you . . . you'll be tested and challenged. And when you stand firm, you'll become stronger than ever—2009 will be a year of spiritual fitness for you.
It's okay to acknowledge that personal challenges seem foreboding. But dare to believe God anyhow! If you do, you'll see how great our God is.

God promises He "will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 4:19).
WOW! what do you say to that? i'm spechless
*blushed* :`) again.

mini vaca-tini

2008-10-31T11:32:00.000-07:00

I'm excited...
exept for the delay - -"
I'm going to houston to visit my best friend.

but to tell you the truth i'm more excited for disneyland :p
she's gonna kill me if she knew hahahah :D

thank God for the break :)
<3

NOW & THEN

2008-10-22T15:48:00.000-07:00

Another busy week *sigh* I wish I have a pause button for life.
Have you ever think about “the what ifs, the shoulda coulda woulda?”
I do it all the time in my head
I wish for the what ifs
Waiting, anticipating the Disney moment: when dreams come true!
I actually just wanted things that I don’t have… I can’t have; the not yets, the never wills.

As cliché as it is: Things happen for a reason.
The road that I took make me who I am today and Now is definitely better than Then :)
As much as I hate the ride, I can’t say I never enjoyed it.
And no matter how long the ride goes, I know I’m fueled up with love and my destination is worth it!

“You go before me
You shield my way
Your hands uphold me
I know You love me”

*blushed*

In Denial; Big Time!

2008-10-15T13:15:00.000-07:00

I’m addicted to Korean “reality” show: We Got Married <3>
The show actually successfully make me wanna get married :p
I put “reality” on quote because the couples just have that married title on the show, but out of the show they’re “strangers.” But nobody can deny the power of quality time how it actually draws people together.
Attachment. Addiction. It’s dangerous game.

Confession: I was in the game. Attached. Addicted. The whole package.
I talked myself out just to stay in the game. Even when I know it’s just a game. Nothing real, except for my feelings.
It hurts to stay. It hurts to stop playing.
I couldn’t talk to anyone because I was embarrassed and I know how wrong I am, I don’t need anyone telling me that, again.

Back to “We Got Married,” after a while all the couples get a chance to re-evaluate their “marriage.” If one of the party says no then the marriage’s off. There’s this one couple who’s predicted as the most likely a-couple, they decided to call it off. Both of’em. Surprisingly. It was a tear-full episode but it’s for the best.
You see, when things become real, you know you have to get out of the game. Because the game is not real.

God knows. He sees, He listens and He’s there. So He talked me out of it. He got me out of the game.
I need reality as much as I hate it.
I need God to walk me through reality.
And I thank God for friends who tell me what I need to hear not what I want to hear. *blushed*

Me, Myself and I

2008-10-09T15:17:00.000-07:00

Just wanna share what made me blush this week:

It's monday. While i was driving off work, listening to K-LOVE as usual, Lisa Williams was giving intro to the song "Empty me" by Chris Sligh. This was her words, "How can we be fill with God if we're so full of ourselves?"

s I n, p r I d e, I...

Chorus:
"Empty me of the selfishness inside
Every vain ambition and the poison of my pride
And any foolish thing my heart holds to
Lord empty me of me so i can be Filled with you"

me + GOD = *blushed*