Wake-up call

Ring
One of the question on a group-discussion for our bible study session last tuesday was: what are you really saying about God when you choose to dis-obey?
the harsh truth: i don't really believe that God is trustworthy and that He is on my side, and that He loves me, and that He's by my side :'( and by doing so: God is sad and hurt...

Ring-ring
Last sunday sermon were talking about love. The pastor quoted a paragraph from the book crazy love by Francis Chan. I don't remember the exact words but basically:
1. the simplest/most easy kind of love is the love for friends and family. Simple, everyone even criminals would easily love their friends and family.
2. the next level is the love for the needy, the poor, for those in trouble, etc. Pretty self explanatory :)
3. the highest level is: to love your enemy, to joyfully rejoice for those who's winning when you're failing. To Pray for those who talk about you (false accusation), etc. I'm sure you get my point here.

Confession:
The pastor last sunday said: "you can have the right doctrine but not the right heart." and what i'm about to say in the following pretty much reflect that. I'm so embarrass and sorry as well... for being such a disappointment :( so *taking a deep breath* here we go:
When i see people saying that they're blessed, or when they're thankful of something or that God is good!, in my heart i'll be saying: "Yea, sure. must be something good/great happening here." I was super-skeptical and just bitter :( but no. Once again God is trying to prove me wrong. Some of the situations that those people are in is worst than mine. Some of them loose everything. some of them didn't get what they want. Some of them are overwhelmed with work, some of them are struggling to live. Through those people God said to me during my quiet time: It is impossible to exaggerate Me, you know that. *humbly convicted*

Ring-ring-rriiinggg
- By grace, those people can say God is good because HE IS good! this one is pretty self explanatory. C'mon na, He died for them and you on the cross!!!
- The more self-centered you are, the more unsatisfied you will be.
- To be a woman of God is to be a woman who is faithful~unconditionally.
- and lastly it's from my morning prayer as i pray for myself, i want to pray for you as well who's maybe broken-hearted, disappointed, rejected, bitter or hurt:

Dear Jesus, I know You suffered the sting of rejection and hurt in a much more intense way than I ever will. And while this (enter your situation) is small in the grand scheme of life, it feels huge in my heart right now. Will You help me process this? Will You help me see past it? Will You let this fragile heart feel the warmth of Your love and grace today? In Jesus' Name, Amen.

living in state of grace *blushed*