Happy birthday to me :')

It's my first birthday in indo after being away for 10 years, YAY!!!
I got to spent it in Bali <3
and i think it's been 10 years ++ since last time i went to bali, so i am excited!



It's been raining in bali so i wish for a sunny day <3 and God gave me a sunny day, it's actually the only non-raining day out of the 3 days i'm there. Call it coincidence but i believe God listens to my prayer :')

We got to watch the sunset too, which on my wish list as well


Ended it with dinner: a seafood-yummy-feast! at the same restaurant, there's this group of musician who's walking around singing, of course we didn't ask them to sing for us - -" because we're cheapo hahaha but we got to hear some songs they sang including somewhere over the rainbow and happy b'day to you <3 and also FREE fireworks from nextdoor :p what a night! and it didn't rain until we finish our dinner :D what a timing!

to top it off: my devotion on dec 16, 2011

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations"

God knew you, as he knew Jeremiah, long before you were born or even conceived.
He thought about you and planned for you.
When you feel discouraged or inadequate, remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.

WOW, i am in tears :'(
at the end of the day nothing move me like You did God :')
thank you for all You've done and what you're going to do
with my life, in my life, through my life
all for You and You alone <3

<3 I hope this love letter from God encourages you too on the day of your birthday and all the days of your life <3

Divine Gifts

Oh, the things we do to give gifts to those we love.

But we don’t mind, do we? We would do it all again. Fact is, we do it all again. Every Christmas, every birthday, every so often we find ourselves in foreign territory. Grownups are in toy stores. Dads are in teen stores. Wives are in the hunting department, and husbands are in the purse department.

And we’d do it all again. Having pressed the grapes of service, we drink life’s sweetest wine—the wine of giving. We are at our best when we are giving. In fact, we are most like God when we are giving.

Have you ever wondered why God gives so much? We could exist on far less. He could have left the world flat and gray; we wouldn’t have known the difference. But he didn’t.

He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue.
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you’ll see that too.

Did he have to make the squirrel’s tail furry?
Was he obliged to make the birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?

Why give a flower fragrance? Why give food its taste?
Could it be he loves to see that look upon your face?

If we give gifts to show our love, how much more would he? If we—speckled with foibles and greed—love to give gifts, how much more does God, pure and perfect God, enjoy giving gifts to us? Jesus asked, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matt. 7:11 NIV).

God’s gifts shed light on God’s heart, God’s good and generous heart. Jesus’ brother James tells us: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17 NIV). Every gift reveals God’s love … but no gift reveals his love more than the gifts of the cross. They came, not wrapped in paper, but in passion. Not placed around a tree, but a cross. And not covered with ribbons, but sprinkled with blood.

From One Incredible Savior
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011) Max Lucado

Thank you God for the gift of LOVE
i am forever grateful

Secret Santa

I've been on and on and on, on how i miss thanksgiving and operation christmas child and i love how God comfort me and rebuke me at the same time :)

Thanksgiving day fall on Nov 24th this year, and in Indo, the thursday is just like any other thursday, no holiday, no celebration, no greetings, nothing.
And i do feel a little down after seeing retreat pictures on facebook and how awesome i heard it was :D and how my friend gather for dinner together :(
But, God reminds me that it just like any other day here, because everyday is a thanksgiving day, and that everyday deserve a thanksgiving. I should make it special because: (Psalm 118:24)
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Operation Christmas Child collection week is on November too :( and i put the status on my fb -> I miss operation christmas child :( and a friend actually commented and said i should do one in indo.
So i thought instead of feeling pathetic maybe i really should :p
I contacted Samaritan's Purse and ask if there's possible way i can do it from indo and if it possible directed towards kids in indonesia, because i know indo is on the list of the countries that get the shoeboxes.
After 2 weeks they replied and unfortunately i still have to send the gifts to US HQ or Australia(nearer) but it doesn't make sense to do that, i will waste a lot on shipping. I do understand the concern though, they probably wanna make sure if the gifts are up to certain qualifications because if not then the organization might get in trouble.

Yossi was also on board with this program, and she really pushes me, i probably won't do it if it's only me. we finally opt out to local organization, this is not an easy process as well because i really wanna do it for an organization that really needs it! and i don't know which one and i don't have the connection and finally got a yes from an organization. We worked with Sahabat Anak that helps street-kids to study. On the particular location that we worked with, they literally meet under the bridge of a highway between a mall and university. They don't have a room to study. I wonder how, with the hectic and the traffic of Jakarta. They are actually christian based and most of the teacher are christians too, but the kids they teach are obviously not.

I did ask them if it's ok to put traktat or christmas card with the message of Jesus, but we didn't get a yes on this one. :( although i know that what matter most is the message of Jesus and not the material gifts that we give, i have to follow the rule, because i can't let them get in trouble because of us and this program we're doing. But i know God miraculous ways of maybe speaking to the kids through material stuff, something amazing that i can't even think of can come out of this. Amen! (just like our offering, God can use the money we give for His greatness)

When asked to come up with a name for the program i came up with Act On Love (AOL) and Gift of Giving (GOG) and yossi wasn't sure on both, so finally Secret Santa, a game of giving christmas gifts, that usually done in a group, voluntary and anonymous.

We're introducing the program today
yossi doing the emotional stuff, on why we're doing this
and i'm doing the technical stuff on how-tos that way i won't cry in front of people i don't know :D

honestly we didn't get a great/good response from people, even from people i expect they would be
but i pray for God to work, touch each and every heart according to each and every need. Because this is all for Him. The response that we expect is only from God, that is our focus, our very reason for doing this, our energy for us to be able to do this today. Not the crowd nor the preparation that make us secure, but You and You alone.

I totally aware that our idea is not original, but please know that our intention is genuine T.T
I pray that people would understand the cause and that they will give not because they know us or not because we invited them but they'll give for the cause. a good cause. sincerely.

Just maybe one day, just like operation christmas child, we can also provide the need of more kids, more than 120 kids that we're giving now. and one day the door might just be open that we can give more than the material gifts. Or maybe even one day operation christmas child can have a base in indonesia.

Right now, i just have to be faithful in this little things given :)
Thank you God <3 for letting me be a part of your love-plan <3

A leap of faith

This will be a long post and maybe a little confusing of ramblings and the thoughts of my head and heart :D

Finally taking a step to go back to Indonesia.
I can't believe it's been almost 6 months i'm stepping my foot at this place i now call home.
It's might not be the best decision but i do think it's the right thing to do.
I hope in time my parents will agree :) i think now there's on 70-30 not yet 100%

on my decision:
I didn't choose to stay because it seemed like is the easy way out; the easiest escape from my life and what i should do. I've lived a comfortable-secure-routine life in the US. I figured that going back home would make me stronger. That I would learn more there, and in the midst of life's little tragedies I would somehow grow.
aaaannd the re-sounding message from Brenda Salter McNeil (Urbana06) that said "Don't settle"

Although i can't deny that i terribly miss what i left behind :(
In Indo:
-I cherish my family time; time of praying together, breakfast, dinner, watching tv, to serve my parents in cooking and cleaning when our maid went home on Lebaran. To be here on my dad's and mom's birthday, that i have been missing for the past 10 years.
-I love being able to see my best friends again! to chat, share, shop, eat together, take pictures, being able to be here on their birthdays!!! and hopefully to all the coming-soon special occasions :D
-I did my mission trip! blessed and humbled <3 and blessed <3 again <3

Struggles:
- ministry, a whole lot different(the people, the rules, the program) and i really hate how some rules are not biblical yet need to be followed. I'm still finding my passion in this area, and my own personal reason with God on why i wanna do it
- job, although i'm extremely grateful for a God-loving boss, i wonder if i'm a good fit for this company, because clearly now i'm not doing accounting, different from what i expect it would be, different from things that i know-how-to and it doesn't necessarily bad. It's just a whole learning process, and i really wanna be effective and beneficial for the company
- family expectation (in career, life, love). i think this is self-explanatory
- to not loose sight from God; my purpose, my goal, my reason, my all

I might never know what the best decision is or the outcome if i didn't leave (will just might be better than my unstable condition now) but (convincing myself; i hate the fact that i need to convince myself; I'm sorry God that i am a woman of little faith):
I know i am responsible to trust in God, who knows the desires of my heart
In all uncertainties of life, God is the most certain! to whom i can hold on to and rely on, and no expectation of God will be too high, because He exceeds things and mind and condition and situation in all explanation possible.
and I should've known better because He's been good and forever will be.
Amen!

As i'm convinced and/or continue learning to be, i hope you are too, in whatever uncertainties you faced now, we're in it together and thank God for a God who never cease to convince us :)

I miss you all and you know who you are.
Always be in my prayer :)

You can stay under my umbrella, ela ela e e...

Image Courtesy lisagraff.com
Umbrella Bookmark

I made this for ci kiki's babyshower favors
Why umbrella -> because it's a shower, get it :p
and why bookmark - because she likes to read

Instructions and template taken from:
http://www.lisagraff.com/abouttemplate2.html

the process

'voila!

Happy trying :)
I hope it will help for your next DIY events

Note to self

May the words of my mouth...

Psalm 19:14
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.



***Sing a long***

Verse 1:
May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

Chorus:
For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Verse 2:
Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You be my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

Celebration of love

March 14 is my parents wedding anniversary
Even though i'm not really good with expressing my gratitude, i do appreciate it a lot and thankful each day for them. For staying together as a family, so i can have a good home and experience.

When I was at WCC, there's a lot of prayer and conviction regarding parents and child relationship, a lot of people having difficulty portraying God the father relationship because of their past relationship with their family. there's hurt and bondage that stays with them and affecting a lot of areas in there life now, even as grownups.

And i just thankful to God that i don't have that painful past, and that both my parents are affectionate and patient with me. through God and through them i was able to learn about love. It's not because of, it is inspite of and despite of... because we are all not perfect yet still loved.

*truly, deeply thankful*
praying so their love can continue to grow for each other in God and through that other people can experience love and God as well.

Decision

I was reading collin's park blog on the topic "Envy" (what he shared on last week pemuda session) and then i stumble upon this post/quote:

From Merton's Witness to Freedom:

[T]here is one basic idea that should be kept in mind in all the changes we make in life, whether of career or anything else. We should decide not in view of better pay, higher rank, "getting ahead," but in view of becoming more real, entering more authentically into direct contact with life, living more as a free and mature human person, able to give myself more to others, able to understand myself and the world better.
pp. 254-255, quoted in
Echoing Silence, Thomas Merton on the Vocation of Writing
edited by Robert Inchausti

I'm scared of changes that i know will be coming very very soon :(
i'm going back indo this time no more delaying, escaping nor denying
the harder road it is :'(
no financial stability
no definite future, except for heaven of course :'}
and tons and tons of hardships and struggles coming ahead
and questions like:
can i be a blessing there?
can i continue growing there?
can i finish strong?

on the other note, all these uncertainties teach me:
to be more dependent on Him as my provider and comfort, as my friend and God.

"I can't do this alone,
God I need you to hold on to me"
-Josh Wilson (Savior)

Beloved and Blessed

Updates updates :)
What is up in February:

1. WCC
Always enriched and encouraged after each WCC.
The theme this year was beloved; an awesome revelation and truth that we are so loved by God. a lot of time i "forgot" that i am His beloved. It's a really good reminder and be able to hear testimonies from people about their journey with God make me wanna have one as well! maybe one day i can be the one giving testimony hehehehe... or praying. There was this girl who introduces/prays before session/testimony and i was just so blessed by her prayer. And this time... i was quite sober hehehe i didn't cry... as much! :p

2. CANADA
Wohooooo!!! i didn't think i was going to have time for this trip. Last year a few people i know went there and i wasn't able to join them... i thought i will have to skip Canada before indo :( because i don't know when/ if my parents can come to pick me up before indo... but Thank God truly deeply for such an opportunity and a blessed trip that i was able to go :) God was gracious that He gave us an added bonus by giving us an excellent weather. You see, before we went, we kept on checking the weather and it was a wet days... we only get 1 sunny day. But, in reality we got nice weather for all days and 1 wet day. :))) and my highlight is the snow. All my life i didn't know that snow has shapes... they're gorgeous! snowflakes... our God is quite an artist i must say, they're(the snowflakes) shaped so beautifully <3 i'm in LOVE! and in awe <3



*blushed*

Answered prayer :'}

so, we had our bible study session on tuesday (01/11/2011) -> awesome date huh?! ;) anyhow at the end of our session during prayer request, one of my friend requested a warmer weather because she hasn't been feeling very well lately + busy at work and the cold-weather isn't helping, and especially it was raining that night!

so... we prayed... :)
and God answered the next day!!! <3
the temperature went up by 9 degrees and compared to tuesday, wednesday was basking with sunshine ~@~



No prayer request is too small/too big for Him, whatever it is just turn to God!
*blushed*

Return on Investment :p

back at work on monday after the longweekend it's just such a hard thing to do :( and plus the chef is sick so there's no food at work to keep me going :'( *double sad* so on lunch i went to this nearby taco place. i would normally get this mexican drink (horchata) to go with it, i was contemplating the $3 that i have in my wallet and then i decided i'm just gonna get the free soda at work :p

after work, i was filling up gas at this place nearby my work. and as i was about half way to fill up my gas, this homeless guy approached me saying, "i mean no harm, but will you let me clean your window?"

i was thinking in my head and i said no, thank you (because i don't know how long it's going to take him to clean up my car window and i was already half way full). but then when he about to walk away, i start to feel bad... so i checked my wallet and finally asked him how much does he charge. and he said, "well is up to your heart willing to give, i'll take $1, $2 or $5" and i checked my wallet again then i said to him, "you don't have to clean my window, but i have this $3, please put it for a good use ok?! buy food and don't drink! and then he said "yes mam." and i said "God bless you" and he said "God bless you too" then he approached other cars.

and just when i finished filling up gas, the worker at the gas station start changing the price. inside my head i was thinking... nooooo!!! just when i finished, the price is going down????? T.T but it's actually the opposite... the price went up by 6 cents XD i know i know... 6 cents is nothing... but still it makes me happy :'}

and God just put this great comfort in my heart not to be afraid to give <3 which is priceless <3

*blushed*

Note to self

as much as i hate troubles... -_-"
"great triumphs are born out of great troubles"

Happy :'}

another long overdue post T.T
i was planning to post this one exactly on my b'day like i did last year, but i failed to do so since i was so so busy with celebrations :p and practices and work - -"

Before i wrote this post i just peek at my post last year, if you would re-read: "grateful"

This year, God's teaching me a lot about being content and by His grace i would say this year i'm happy :'} Looking back, i know that sometimes God's command seems hard/impossible to do (like forgiveness or being content, etc) but it is really for our own good because the peace that comes after is just so rewarding.

On friday a week before my b'day, ci santi's friend: Pira was speaking about this topic and he used Phil 4. I grew up with the verse : 13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." i was a very pessimistic and all-time-worrier kid, i remember my mom would just repeat that verse over and over at the table during breakfast and dinner, before every exam, test, check-up or any major event that freak me out. Yup, in english! So even though i don't purposely plan to memorize it, it gets to me.

So Pira broke down the verse, it's NOT about I CAN, or DO ALL THINGS but it is about THROUGH CHRIST! and it is about the importance of knowing/understand the prior verses, which i never pay attention to - -"

"11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the SECRET of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."

Now when Paul wrote the book of Philippians, he was in prison T.T and yet he showed such great faith! what is his SECRET? the secret is on verse 13 which it THROUGH CHRIST <3

A lot of admirable people i know would start a line by saying: "by God's grace, I..." and now i think i know what that means :) and everyone can say it too and start living it if you know the secret :)

i'm still learning too, and i will probably fall again and again, but i'll try to embrace the secret and knowing that i can do all thing THROUGH CHRIST who strengthens me.

i thank God for such a HAPPY b'day this year :'} along with all the added bonus (loving friends and family <3 <3 <3) + 3 cakes!!!





Note to self:
and the end of the chapter, Paul wrote:
"20 To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen."
Above all else, when everything is said and done, the ultimate goal, the reason, the purpose, what it is all about... is God! always have, always will...

disclaimer: the "secret" can be applied in any situation you're in :'}