Happy birthday to me :')

It's my first birthday in indo after being away for 10 years, YAY!!!
I got to spent it in Bali <3
and i think it's been 10 years ++ since last time i went to bali, so i am excited!



It's been raining in bali so i wish for a sunny day <3 and God gave me a sunny day, it's actually the only non-raining day out of the 3 days i'm there. Call it coincidence but i believe God listens to my prayer :')

We got to watch the sunset too, which on my wish list as well


Ended it with dinner: a seafood-yummy-feast! at the same restaurant, there's this group of musician who's walking around singing, of course we didn't ask them to sing for us - -" because we're cheapo hahaha but we got to hear some songs they sang including somewhere over the rainbow and happy b'day to you <3 and also FREE fireworks from nextdoor :p what a night! and it didn't rain until we finish our dinner :D what a timing!

to top it off: my devotion on dec 16, 2011

Jeremiah 1:5
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
before you were born I set you apart;
I appointed you as a prophet to the nations"

God knew you, as he knew Jeremiah, long before you were born or even conceived.
He thought about you and planned for you.
When you feel discouraged or inadequate, remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.

WOW, i am in tears :'(
at the end of the day nothing move me like You did God :')
thank you for all You've done and what you're going to do
with my life, in my life, through my life
all for You and You alone <3

<3 I hope this love letter from God encourages you too on the day of your birthday and all the days of your life <3

Divine Gifts

Oh, the things we do to give gifts to those we love.

But we don’t mind, do we? We would do it all again. Fact is, we do it all again. Every Christmas, every birthday, every so often we find ourselves in foreign territory. Grownups are in toy stores. Dads are in teen stores. Wives are in the hunting department, and husbands are in the purse department.

And we’d do it all again. Having pressed the grapes of service, we drink life’s sweetest wine—the wine of giving. We are at our best when we are giving. In fact, we are most like God when we are giving.

Have you ever wondered why God gives so much? We could exist on far less. He could have left the world flat and gray; we wouldn’t have known the difference. But he didn’t.

He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue.
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you’ll see that too.

Did he have to make the squirrel’s tail furry?
Was he obliged to make the birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?

Why give a flower fragrance? Why give food its taste?
Could it be he loves to see that look upon your face?

If we give gifts to show our love, how much more would he? If we—speckled with foibles and greed—love to give gifts, how much more does God, pure and perfect God, enjoy giving gifts to us? Jesus asked, "If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matt. 7:11 NIV).

God’s gifts shed light on God’s heart, God’s good and generous heart. Jesus’ brother James tells us: “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." (James 1:17 NIV). Every gift reveals God’s love … but no gift reveals his love more than the gifts of the cross. They came, not wrapped in paper, but in passion. Not placed around a tree, but a cross. And not covered with ribbons, but sprinkled with blood.

From One Incredible Savior
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2011) Max Lucado

Thank you God for the gift of LOVE
i am forever grateful

Secret Santa

I've been on and on and on, on how i miss thanksgiving and operation christmas child and i love how God comfort me and rebuke me at the same time :)

Thanksgiving day fall on Nov 24th this year, and in Indo, the thursday is just like any other thursday, no holiday, no celebration, no greetings, nothing.
And i do feel a little down after seeing retreat pictures on facebook and how awesome i heard it was :D and how my friend gather for dinner together :(
But, God reminds me that it just like any other day here, because everyday is a thanksgiving day, and that everyday deserve a thanksgiving. I should make it special because: (Psalm 118:24)
24 This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Operation Christmas Child collection week is on November too :( and i put the status on my fb -> I miss operation christmas child :( and a friend actually commented and said i should do one in indo.
So i thought instead of feeling pathetic maybe i really should :p
I contacted Samaritan's Purse and ask if there's possible way i can do it from indo and if it possible directed towards kids in indonesia, because i know indo is on the list of the countries that get the shoeboxes.
After 2 weeks they replied and unfortunately i still have to send the gifts to US HQ or Australia(nearer) but it doesn't make sense to do that, i will waste a lot on shipping. I do understand the concern though, they probably wanna make sure if the gifts are up to certain qualifications because if not then the organization might get in trouble.

Yossi was also on board with this program, and she really pushes me, i probably won't do it if it's only me. we finally opt out to local organization, this is not an easy process as well because i really wanna do it for an organization that really needs it! and i don't know which one and i don't have the connection and finally got a yes from an organization. We worked with Sahabat Anak that helps street-kids to study. On the particular location that we worked with, they literally meet under the bridge of a highway between a mall and university. They don't have a room to study. I wonder how, with the hectic and the traffic of Jakarta. They are actually christian based and most of the teacher are christians too, but the kids they teach are obviously not.

I did ask them if it's ok to put traktat or christmas card with the message of Jesus, but we didn't get a yes on this one. :( although i know that what matter most is the message of Jesus and not the material gifts that we give, i have to follow the rule, because i can't let them get in trouble because of us and this program we're doing. But i know God miraculous ways of maybe speaking to the kids through material stuff, something amazing that i can't even think of can come out of this. Amen! (just like our offering, God can use the money we give for His greatness)

When asked to come up with a name for the program i came up with Act On Love (AOL) and Gift of Giving (GOG) and yossi wasn't sure on both, so finally Secret Santa, a game of giving christmas gifts, that usually done in a group, voluntary and anonymous.

We're introducing the program today
yossi doing the emotional stuff, on why we're doing this
and i'm doing the technical stuff on how-tos that way i won't cry in front of people i don't know :D

honestly we didn't get a great/good response from people, even from people i expect they would be
but i pray for God to work, touch each and every heart according to each and every need. Because this is all for Him. The response that we expect is only from God, that is our focus, our very reason for doing this, our energy for us to be able to do this today. Not the crowd nor the preparation that make us secure, but You and You alone.

I totally aware that our idea is not original, but please know that our intention is genuine T.T
I pray that people would understand the cause and that they will give not because they know us or not because we invited them but they'll give for the cause. a good cause. sincerely.

Just maybe one day, just like operation christmas child, we can also provide the need of more kids, more than 120 kids that we're giving now. and one day the door might just be open that we can give more than the material gifts. Or maybe even one day operation christmas child can have a base in indonesia.

Right now, i just have to be faithful in this little things given :)
Thank you God <3 for letting me be a part of your love-plan <3

A leap of faith

This will be a long post and maybe a little confusing of ramblings and the thoughts of my head and heart :D

Finally taking a step to go back to Indonesia.
I can't believe it's been almost 6 months i'm stepping my foot at this place i now call home.
It's might not be the best decision but i do think it's the right thing to do.
I hope in time my parents will agree :) i think now there's on 70-30 not yet 100%

on my decision:
I didn't choose to stay because it seemed like is the easy way out; the easiest escape from my life and what i should do. I've lived a comfortable-secure-routine life in the US. I figured that going back home would make me stronger. That I would learn more there, and in the midst of life's little tragedies I would somehow grow.
aaaannd the re-sounding message from Brenda Salter McNeil (Urbana06) that said "Don't settle"

Although i can't deny that i terribly miss what i left behind :(
In Indo:
-I cherish my family time; time of praying together, breakfast, dinner, watching tv, to serve my parents in cooking and cleaning when our maid went home on Lebaran. To be here on my dad's and mom's birthday, that i have been missing for the past 10 years.
-I love being able to see my best friends again! to chat, share, shop, eat together, take pictures, being able to be here on their birthdays!!! and hopefully to all the coming-soon special occasions :D
-I did my mission trip! blessed and humbled <3 and blessed <3 again <3

Struggles:
- ministry, a whole lot different(the people, the rules, the program) and i really hate how some rules are not biblical yet need to be followed. I'm still finding my passion in this area, and my own personal reason with God on why i wanna do it
- job, although i'm extremely grateful for a God-loving boss, i wonder if i'm a good fit for this company, because clearly now i'm not doing accounting, different from what i expect it would be, different from things that i know-how-to and it doesn't necessarily bad. It's just a whole learning process, and i really wanna be effective and beneficial for the company
- family expectation (in career, life, love). i think this is self-explanatory
- to not loose sight from God; my purpose, my goal, my reason, my all

I might never know what the best decision is or the outcome if i didn't leave (will just might be better than my unstable condition now) but (convincing myself; i hate the fact that i need to convince myself; I'm sorry God that i am a woman of little faith):
I know i am responsible to trust in God, who knows the desires of my heart
In all uncertainties of life, God is the most certain! to whom i can hold on to and rely on, and no expectation of God will be too high, because He exceeds things and mind and condition and situation in all explanation possible.
and I should've known better because He's been good and forever will be.
Amen!

As i'm convinced and/or continue learning to be, i hope you are too, in whatever uncertainties you faced now, we're in it together and thank God for a God who never cease to convince us :)

I miss you all and you know who you are.
Always be in my prayer :)