Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Monday, March 8, 2010
Overwhelmed
I am such a people person. And lately God is teaching me that: you can't please everyone and that's okay. And also by being a people-person I'm actually being quite selfish. It's about me wanting to be likeable :(
I've been struggling to speak the truth in love and i think i still am. It's just so much easier to tell people what they wanted to hear rather than what they needed to hear. One of my bible study member had shared a story about her friend who always been put in the situation "to tell" And although the favor of the people, situation and the outcome was never on her side, she still doing it. She said that God had put her in that ministry: to tell :)
The favor of the people was not on her, but i know that God's favor was on her side. That is really an encouraging story for me :)
As we getting closer and closer to then end times, the bible says there will be people who hate us for telling the truth. So i guess i just have to get used to it :) it's okay to be a fool in the eyes of men rather than be a fool in the eyes of God. And being hated by men is nothing compare to being hated by God.
On saturday, i got a chance to do volunteer at Innvision; feeding homeless. It's been a while since last time i've been here. Before i went, during my devotion time i had asked God to give me a joyful heart instead of my worryful-heart so i can enjoy this ministry. This time we come not just to cook and serve but to do worship as well.
To tell the truth i was a bit skeptical at first, because i saw some people walk in with their headphones on. I was thinking in my heart what if they feel bothered? But i was encouraged to see my fellow team, they were singing joyfully :) And as we sing more and more, I can see how God works :) some people can relate to "amazing grace" and as i saw their teary eyes, i had felt my eyes become teary as well :) I was overwhelmed with Joy at the whole experience :)
When I was worry about how people would react, God had once again prove me wrong. Because the "truth" will bring great-joy to the people when done in love :) <3
*blushing with joy*
:) <3
I've been struggling to speak the truth in love and i think i still am. It's just so much easier to tell people what they wanted to hear rather than what they needed to hear. One of my bible study member had shared a story about her friend who always been put in the situation "to tell" And although the favor of the people, situation and the outcome was never on her side, she still doing it. She said that God had put her in that ministry: to tell :)
The favor of the people was not on her, but i know that God's favor was on her side. That is really an encouraging story for me :)
As we getting closer and closer to then end times, the bible says there will be people who hate us for telling the truth. So i guess i just have to get used to it :) it's okay to be a fool in the eyes of men rather than be a fool in the eyes of God. And being hated by men is nothing compare to being hated by God.
On saturday, i got a chance to do volunteer at Innvision; feeding homeless. It's been a while since last time i've been here. Before i went, during my devotion time i had asked God to give me a joyful heart instead of my worryful-heart so i can enjoy this ministry. This time we come not just to cook and serve but to do worship as well.
To tell the truth i was a bit skeptical at first, because i saw some people walk in with their headphones on. I was thinking in my heart what if they feel bothered? But i was encouraged to see my fellow team, they were singing joyfully :) And as we sing more and more, I can see how God works :) some people can relate to "amazing grace" and as i saw their teary eyes, i had felt my eyes become teary as well :) I was overwhelmed with Joy at the whole experience :)
When I was worry about how people would react, God had once again prove me wrong. Because the "truth" will bring great-joy to the people when done in love :) <3
*blushing with joy*
:) <3
On Fiyah! :)
"Most of us are willing to go but prepared to stay but instead we have to be prepared to go and willing to stay."
I was so stunned by that sentence. That is absolutely right. I didn't realize i was saying Yes to God but i am actually always preparing myself to stay instead of go. Yup again, God knock me down on my knees regarding my obedience. I hope this sentence can be as rebuking to you as well :)
After WCC i was on "fire" again, i am so scared that the fire will get dim in time, so i start to make this commitment and goals of things that i wanna do for God. I was planning to go back to indo for my BFF's wedding :) i can't believe that she will be someone's wife :p :p :p hehehehehe... sooo on this trip back, i was looking for any possibility ministry. Chances are small because most mission trips are offered during summer. But there's some possibility that i can do some of these:
1. Meeting with someone from REP, they minister the business field. so basically they give out training and seminars for local businesses to do their business in God's way. They put me in contact with someone in indo. Most of their trips are short terms and this year they will be going to india. But indonesia is one of the country that they regularly visit as well.
2. working with anak2 jalanan by basically tutoring (read/write, math and art as well) i've contacted a few people but no-one has gotten back to me :( although this is the one that i want to do the most.
3. One of the counselors at WCC share a story of how in indo we have maids and there's this husband and wife that treated their maids differently after they were saved. Their maids saw the change and even them have secretly become a christian as well. When i heard this story i feel so embarrassed. I have been a christian all my life but i haven't been treating my maid nicely. Well mostly i treated them as maid :( So my longest maid (mbak Sina) have resigned i think about two years ago, and i was just thinking throughout that i owe her an apology for my behavior :( and so this time i'm home i really really wanted to meet her and use that opportunity to also show my gratitude towards her taking care of my parents. I don't know how and i don't know if it's possible since she is in kampung now :( but my parents have her phone number :)
4. and lastly to be able to minister to my family who's unbeliever. I have never thought i would care you know. Because i know they have their own beliefs and it's gonna be awkward considering some are a lot older than me. But God just put this on me lately. I have never even pray for them on these matter :(
So i've been praying for these opportunity. I have asked my bible study members to pray with me as well. For anyone who's reading this please pray for me and also keep me accountable! Ask me about it after my trip! Please pray:
1. I have a short 3 weeks vacation that mostly are filled with events already on the weekend ( my parents anniversary, me best friend's wedding, my aunt's birthday, etc) plus i also want to spend time for myself because it's my vacation you know :p so help me to be able to make an unselfish decision :) so i can really fulfill my commitment. or if somehow i can cramp my time to be able to do all :p
2. pray for me to have the right heart attitude. I'm scared that i'm doing all this for myself, for me to feel good about myself. I wanna be able to this with the love of God, genuinely and sincerely, because otherwise it doesn't count in the eyes of God anyway, everything will be pointless :( pray that this will be nothing i can boast of, instead that God will be glorified through everything.
3. to have courage to be obedience, because what if God did give me opportunity to do these and then i chicken-out - -"
Phew... that's it, i think :)
I'm so excited for my trip back! :D i can't sleep, i still can eat though... a LOT - -" heheheheheh...
God bless you all!
I was so stunned by that sentence. That is absolutely right. I didn't realize i was saying Yes to God but i am actually always preparing myself to stay instead of go. Yup again, God knock me down on my knees regarding my obedience. I hope this sentence can be as rebuking to you as well :)
After WCC i was on "fire" again, i am so scared that the fire will get dim in time, so i start to make this commitment and goals of things that i wanna do for God. I was planning to go back to indo for my BFF's wedding :) i can't believe that she will be someone's wife :p :p :p hehehehehe... sooo on this trip back, i was looking for any possibility ministry. Chances are small because most mission trips are offered during summer. But there's some possibility that i can do some of these:
1. Meeting with someone from REP, they minister the business field. so basically they give out training and seminars for local businesses to do their business in God's way. They put me in contact with someone in indo. Most of their trips are short terms and this year they will be going to india. But indonesia is one of the country that they regularly visit as well.
2. working with anak2 jalanan by basically tutoring (read/write, math and art as well) i've contacted a few people but no-one has gotten back to me :( although this is the one that i want to do the most.
3. One of the counselors at WCC share a story of how in indo we have maids and there's this husband and wife that treated their maids differently after they were saved. Their maids saw the change and even them have secretly become a christian as well. When i heard this story i feel so embarrassed. I have been a christian all my life but i haven't been treating my maid nicely. Well mostly i treated them as maid :( So my longest maid (mbak Sina) have resigned i think about two years ago, and i was just thinking throughout that i owe her an apology for my behavior :( and so this time i'm home i really really wanted to meet her and use that opportunity to also show my gratitude towards her taking care of my parents. I don't know how and i don't know if it's possible since she is in kampung now :( but my parents have her phone number :)
4. and lastly to be able to minister to my family who's unbeliever. I have never thought i would care you know. Because i know they have their own beliefs and it's gonna be awkward considering some are a lot older than me. But God just put this on me lately. I have never even pray for them on these matter :(
So i've been praying for these opportunity. I have asked my bible study members to pray with me as well. For anyone who's reading this please pray for me and also keep me accountable! Ask me about it after my trip! Please pray:
1. I have a short 3 weeks vacation that mostly are filled with events already on the weekend ( my parents anniversary, me best friend's wedding, my aunt's birthday, etc) plus i also want to spend time for myself because it's my vacation you know :p so help me to be able to make an unselfish decision :) so i can really fulfill my commitment. or if somehow i can cramp my time to be able to do all :p
2. pray for me to have the right heart attitude. I'm scared that i'm doing all this for myself, for me to feel good about myself. I wanna be able to this with the love of God, genuinely and sincerely, because otherwise it doesn't count in the eyes of God anyway, everything will be pointless :( pray that this will be nothing i can boast of, instead that God will be glorified through everything.
3. to have courage to be obedience, because what if God did give me opportunity to do these and then i chicken-out - -"
Phew... that's it, i think :)
I'm so excited for my trip back! :D i can't sleep, i still can eat though... a LOT - -" heheheheheh...
God bless you all!
Awesome God
I'm so sorry it took me sooo looongggg to update :p
that should say something about my commitment issue :p :p :p
so WCC was, as always refreshing, rebuking and eye-opening.
I decided to join again this year again because i think i need it. i missed our church's retreat because i went to Utah with my friends :p *guilty* hahah
I absolutely LOVE our discussion after we back in our room :) we(me and my roommates+neighbors) still talk about God; Yes! He is that awesome :) And if you wanna hear the awesome workshops or session a lot of my friend bought the CD, so ask me, let me know :)
Awesome prayer ministry. I went up twice for the team to pray for me :) and i was trying so hard to stay sober, because i am an emotional person and i don't wanna make an emotional decision or judgment. I was trying so hard to stay sober :D And this is what i want to share what God reveals to me during this prayer time:
We were asked to have a quiet time with God and just asked Him to reveal what would hinder us from a possible ministry or relationship with God. i feel like all my life i've been a fearful person. I over-think, over-judge, over-cautious, over-prepared, over-... (you know what i mean) so we prayed and just bring that to God. I know that i have to trust God, but i haven't been surrendering; therefore not trust. :(
2nd prayer time was for us to ask God for a spiritual gift that would help us grow. so i was thinking like God what do i want? what do i need? finally: I want to be able to hear You, God; that what i said. You see, on WCC i feel so envious with the speaker and the counselors, etc etc they just have this awesome awesome relationship with God that they have literal conversations with God. They know what thing to say, they know what need to touch without the other person revealing even anything. I stop for a second and think to myself, would i have care so much too? if God had given me the ear to hear the needs of other people? maybe not :( maybe that's why God didn't trusted me with this gift, just yet :p after we prayed i went back to my seat, and God said the familiar phrase: seek Me and I will meet you there :) so yup that had say something about my so-so walk with God. I haven't been diligent :( I haven't been obedience to God :(
"My obedience = the will of God"
*blushed*
that should say something about my commitment issue :p :p :p
so WCC was, as always refreshing, rebuking and eye-opening.
I decided to join again this year again because i think i need it. i missed our church's retreat because i went to Utah with my friends :p *guilty* hahah
I absolutely LOVE our discussion after we back in our room :) we(me and my roommates+neighbors) still talk about God; Yes! He is that awesome :) And if you wanna hear the awesome workshops or session a lot of my friend bought the CD, so ask me, let me know :)
Awesome prayer ministry. I went up twice for the team to pray for me :) and i was trying so hard to stay sober, because i am an emotional person and i don't wanna make an emotional decision or judgment. I was trying so hard to stay sober :D And this is what i want to share what God reveals to me during this prayer time:
We were asked to have a quiet time with God and just asked Him to reveal what would hinder us from a possible ministry or relationship with God. i feel like all my life i've been a fearful person. I over-think, over-judge, over-cautious, over-prepared, over-... (you know what i mean) so we prayed and just bring that to God. I know that i have to trust God, but i haven't been surrendering; therefore not trust. :(
2nd prayer time was for us to ask God for a spiritual gift that would help us grow. so i was thinking like God what do i want? what do i need? finally: I want to be able to hear You, God; that what i said. You see, on WCC i feel so envious with the speaker and the counselors, etc etc they just have this awesome awesome relationship with God that they have literal conversations with God. They know what thing to say, they know what need to touch without the other person revealing even anything. I stop for a second and think to myself, would i have care so much too? if God had given me the ear to hear the needs of other people? maybe not :( maybe that's why God didn't trusted me with this gift, just yet :p after we prayed i went back to my seat, and God said the familiar phrase: seek Me and I will meet you there :) so yup that had say something about my so-so walk with God. I haven't been diligent :( I haven't been obedience to God :(
"My obedience = the will of God"
*blushed*
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