On Fiyah! :)

"Most of us are willing to go but prepared to stay but instead we have to be prepared to go and willing to stay."

I was so stunned by that sentence. That is absolutely right. I didn't realize i was saying Yes to God but i am actually always preparing myself to stay instead of go. Yup again, God knock me down on my knees regarding my obedience. I hope this sentence can be as rebuking to you as well :)

After WCC i was on "fire" again, i am so scared that the fire will get dim in time, so i start to make this commitment and goals of things that i wanna do for God. I was planning to go back to indo for my BFF's wedding :) i can't believe that she will be someone's wife :p :p :p hehehehehe... sooo on this trip back, i was looking for any possibility ministry. Chances are small because most mission trips are offered during summer. But there's some possibility that i can do some of these:

1. Meeting with someone from REP, they minister the business field. so basically they give out training and seminars for local businesses to do their business in God's way. They put me in contact with someone in indo. Most of their trips are short terms and this year they will be going to india. But indonesia is one of the country that they regularly visit as well.
2. working with anak2 jalanan by basically tutoring (read/write, math and art as well) i've contacted a few people but no-one has gotten back to me :( although this is the one that i want to do the most.
3. One of the counselors at WCC share a story of how in indo we have maids and there's this husband and wife that treated their maids differently after they were saved. Their maids saw the change and even them have secretly become a christian as well. When i heard this story i feel so embarrassed. I have been a christian all my life but i haven't been treating my maid nicely. Well mostly i treated them as maid :( So my longest maid (mbak Sina) have resigned i think about two years ago, and i was just thinking throughout that i owe her an apology for my behavior :( and so this time i'm home i really really wanted to meet her and use that opportunity to also show my gratitude towards her taking care of my parents. I don't know how and i don't know if it's possible since she is in kampung now :( but my parents have her phone number :)
4. and lastly to be able to minister to my family who's unbeliever. I have never thought i would care you know. Because i know they have their own beliefs and it's gonna be awkward considering some are a lot older than me. But God just put this on me lately. I have never even pray for them on these matter :(

So i've been praying for these opportunity. I have asked my bible study members to pray with me as well. For anyone who's reading this please pray for me and also keep me accountable! Ask me about it after my trip! Please pray:
1. I have a short 3 weeks vacation that mostly are filled with events already on the weekend ( my parents anniversary, me best friend's wedding, my aunt's birthday, etc) plus i also want to spend time for myself because it's my vacation you know :p so help me to be able to make an unselfish decision :) so i can really fulfill my commitment. or if somehow i can cramp my time to be able to do all :p
2. pray for me to have the right heart attitude. I'm scared that i'm doing all this for myself, for me to feel good about myself. I wanna be able to this with the love of God, genuinely and sincerely, because otherwise it doesn't count in the eyes of God anyway, everything will be pointless :( pray that this will be nothing i can boast of, instead that God will be glorified through everything.
3. to have courage to be obedience, because what if God did give me opportunity to do these and then i chicken-out - -"

Phew... that's it, i think :)
I'm so excited for my trip back! :D i can't sleep, i still can eat though... a LOT - -" heheheheheh...

God bless you all!